Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re thought-provoking, and sometimes we don’t know what they’re talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy.
Photo credit: eldh, Flickr
90 minutes of Cinco de Mayo left, guys! Everyone power vomit and meet me at the margarita station. We can DO this, people!
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) May 6, 2013
Truly inspiring.
I watched the Kentucky Derby and said to my wife, “All that build up for 2 minutes.” Why did she give me that look?
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) May 6, 2013
I have no idea.
Justin Bieber was attacked on stage by a man in Dubai, probably because he wasn't wearing the traditional burqa they prefer their women in.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) May 6, 2013
Plausible theory.
https://twitter.com/IrelandBBaldwin/status/331428522402914305
Make a mental note, guys.
https://twitter.com/chrissyteigen/status/331467137745047552
That’s a good question.
Don't say 'totes' anymore.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) May 6, 2013
Totes agree.
Must. Not. Make. Boner. Joke. RT @KimKardashian: If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it…
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) May 6, 2013
Too easy.
"Christmas just came 7 months early!" — every YouTube autotuner, watching the Charles Ramsey interview #deeeeadgiveaway
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) May 7, 2013
That’s no joke.
To the Media: I demand that you stop using all pictures of me taken before Amanda Bynes got her nose fixed.
— (((Jew))) (@JoshMalina) May 7, 2013
She’s been awfully quiet this week.
I'm interested in finding ways to get as high as possible without any drugs or alcohol.
— Joanna (@iamjojo) May 7, 2013
Anyone?
https://twitter.com/robinwilliams/status/331974971826003968
No argument here.
“@starleigh2000: @rustyrockets Guyism? Is that what you get your news from?” It's a news source we can all trust.
— Russell Brand (@rustyrockets) May 8, 2013
Yes. It is.
If there was a line you could stand in to not see The Great Gatsby I would want to be the first one in it.
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) May 8, 2013
Stand behind me.
Jobs that aren’t real: social media expert, DJ, personal trainer, chiropractor, architect, pilot, mom.
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) May 8, 2013
Goal: piss off as many people as possible.
https://twitter.com/michaelianblack/status/332238342475362304
He might the first, but he won’t be the last.
Do I get an award for not knowing who Jodi Arias is?
— Mo Rocca (@MoRocca) May 9, 2013
You should.
Wait…how did three bears make porridge in the first place?
— Ben Schwartz (@rejectedjokes) May 9, 2013
Solid question.
https://twitter.com/IrelandBBaldwin/status/332546019218821120
I’m down for that.
https://twitter.com/MelissaStetten/status/332555318288592896
And she’ll love you for it.
Good Mornjng good afternoon and good Evening depending on where you are! Check in and lemme know how your day is going Hofftastic, Hofful ?
— David Hasselhoff (@DavidHasselhoff) May 9, 2013
Seriously, does he talk like this in real life?
The tiny umbrella in a cocktail makes no sense. A drink is already wet.
— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) May 9, 2013
Valid point.
I understand the reluctance of some people to eat meat, citing animal cruelty. But aren't vegetables alive too?
— Terry Crews (@terrycrews) May 9, 2013
A tomato would scream if it could RT @AlanRing99 @terrycrews Ya but vegetables don't have feelings.
— Terry Crews (@terrycrews) May 9, 2013
Ummm. No.
https://twitter.com/AlyssCampanella/status/332609724346400768
I feel ya, Alyssa.
https://twitter.com/prattprattpratt/status/332640071801008128
Yes, it would.