Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re thought-provoking, and sometimes we don’t know what they’re talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy.
Photo credit: eldh, Flickr
Today we should all remember our presidents the way they were meant to be remembered, as masks worn by bank robbing surfers in Point Break.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) February 18, 2013
That there is how you show true patriotism.
If Mindy McCready was indeed the 5th suicide in two seasons of Dr Drew-maybe producers need to find a new angle
— Geraldo Rivera (@GeraldoRivera) February 18, 2013
And the patients need a new doctor.
Just when I brainwashed myself to believe humans are not barnyard animals, I venture into an airplane lavatory w the toilet seat up
— Bonnie Bernstein (@BonnieBernstein) February 19, 2013
Well, you do kind of feel like cattle on an airplane.
Feel the chi. Repulse the monkey. Part the wild horses mane.
— Aaron Rodgers (@AaronRodgers12) February 19, 2013
Solid advice.
Europe, what's up with shitty weather everywhere? Can I please request some sunshine for tomorrow?
— Anne V (@AnneV) February 19, 2013
Why does it always seem odd to me when a supermodel swears?
https://twitter.com/VSKylie/status/303942085243990016
I have no idea what that even means.
https://twitter.com/WhitlockJason/status/303953579738292224
Oscar might want to give him a call.
If i could pick one person to go to @bonnaroo with it would be arsenio hall @ArsenioHall
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 19, 2013
Really??
Even commercials for reality shows hurt my soul.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) February 20, 2013
They hurt everyone’s soul.
https://twitter.com/AdrianneCurry/status/304101598941048832
She should be on The Weather Channel.
"Dora" and "explorer" don't rhyme, and never have, but people seem to go about their business as of it doesn't matter.
— Paula Poundstone (@paulapoundstone) February 20, 2013
And how come Swiper never gets arrested?
Planning my Oscar snacks. What goes with smarmy fakeness?
— (((Jew))) (@JoshMalina) February 20, 2013
Tofu?
Those Discover cards ads that say "we treat you like you'd treat you" don't really work cause I feel like I'd treat me like a real dick.
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) February 20, 2013
Good point.
https://twitter.com/MelissaStetten/status/304301581069869056
It’s like a single girl’s survival kit.
Only a couple years ago I was serving @Budweiser behind homeplate for @BlueJays Hope I can throw a first pitch this summer-fingers crossed!!
— Ashley Diana Morris (@Ashleydmorris) February 20, 2013
Re: THIS.
I found her! I found the fartiest old person at this grocery store and she's in line in front of me arguing about her change! What do I win?
— erinn hayes (@hayeslady) February 20, 2013
A lifetime supply of that memory.
https://twitter.com/JenKirkman/status/304331869451857920
The first one is always the hardest.
Oh, Google Glasses… we'll never feel rude for checking our phones 24/7 again!
— Hilary Rhoda (@HilaryHRhoda) February 20, 2013
Yes, it’s a brave new world now.
Happy Birthday, @Rihanna! I have your present. It is a wax double of my body for your private pleasure. And a gift card for Best Buy.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) February 20, 2013
Damn, guess I’ll have to return my gift.
everyone is terrible
— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) February 20, 2013
That’s true.
I also like beer.
— Alyssa Milano (@Alyssa_Milano) February 21, 2013
Just so you know.
My Twitter has been seriously hacked— and we are looking for the perpetrators.
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 21, 2013
You mean you didn’t really tweet,
“These hoes think they classy, well that’s the class I’m skippen”?
Any nice men over 45 out there? Give me a call at 866 675-6675 🙂 I'm LIVE right now on Sirius XM Stars 107 talking about online dating
— Martha Stewart (@MarthaStewart) February 21, 2013
Martha Stewart: Online Dating Expert.
80% of the time I don't have a fucking clue as to what you people are talking about
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) February 21, 2013
That percentage is lower than mine.