Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re thought-provoking, and sometimes we don’t know what they’re talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy.
Related: The 50 most entertaining celebrities to follow on Twitter
.
Beyonce went all Red Wedding at the #VMA2014 and killed it
— George RR Martin (@GeorgeRRMartin_) August 25, 2014
“”
Clever.
Thoughts:
I'm glad everyone's discovering Jessie J!
Met Iggy in an elevator and she was super nice.
Every time I see Blue Ivy, I cry. #VMAs
— Taylor Swift (@taylorswift13) August 25, 2014
“”
She cries?
I don't know who Rita Ora is, but she can read the shit out of a teleprompter. #VMAs
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) August 25, 2014
“”
She needs to present every award.
love watching the #VMAs just 4 their audience reaction shots! They cant hide their distain for one another it's hilarious! #awkwardMoments
— Kelly Osbourne (@KellyOsbourne) August 25, 2014
“”
Music people, petty? Nooo.
I'm going to Australia to become a rapper and you can't stop me
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) August 25, 2014
“”
Please do this.
I picked the wrong episode to start watching True Blood. 🙁
— Joshua Malina (@JoshMalina) August 25, 2014
“”
The season finale usually is a bad place to start.
Beyoncé just danced her sexy ass off. I made brownies. #twinsies
— Michelle Beadle (@MichelleDBeadle) August 25, 2014
“”
Same thing pretty much.
"She's not wearing pants? Fuck it. I won't wear pants either." -every dressing room backstage at the VMA's
— Adam Levine (@adamlevine) August 25, 2014
“”
I approve of this fashion trend.
I want to watch someone flub the ice bucket challenge so I can scream EPIC FAIL! as I aggressively smear dogshit on their face.
— Jim Norton (@JimNorton) August 25, 2014
“”
And I want to see him do that.
This above all: To thine own selfie be true, but face ye olde window for best lighting
— RuPaul (@RuPaul) August 25, 2014
“”
Words to live by.
Well it's official, "my face is your toilet" is a bad pick up line.
— Nick Swardson (@NickSwardson) August 25, 2014
“”
I could have told him that.
Just rated everybody at this departure gate by coolness: I am second.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) August 25, 2014
“”
I wonder who was first?
So liberating – just threw car keys into ocean. Glad they weren’t my car keys.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) August 25, 2014
“”
Let’s all try that this weekend.
I really hope I get to fulfill one of my lifelong career goals tonight by putting my dick in the @eonline mani-cam. #Emmys
— Jason Biggs (@JasonBiggs) August 25, 2014
“”
Please tell me this didn’t happen.
Dude faked his death via text message just to get a reply back… Genius
— Chad Johnson (@ochocinco) August 25, 2014
“”
Ocho would like that move, wouldn’t he?
I don't know what the highlight of your Monday was but mine involved 5 naked ladies.
— Kayden Kross (@Kayden_Kross) August 26, 2014
“”
Umm, I ate a pizza!
I want to thank God for making sure that @rickygervais lost tonight. I only wish I started praying before he made #Derek. #Yahweh #Yay
— Andy Kindler (@AndyKindler) August 26, 2014
“”
He’s apparently not a fan.
Me to everyone at #HBO #emmy party "I know you!" …oops – you are on TV.
— Julie Benz (@juliebenz) August 26, 2014
“”
That must have been weird.
Put the word feminist behind Beyonce is the equivalent of putting "scientist" behind me on stage. Ah, not really. Like at all.
— Kathleen Madigan (@kathleenmadigan) August 26, 2014
“”
Shots fired!
Marry fuck kill: the tick, darkwing duck, brain (from pinky and the brain)
— James Deen (@JamesDeen) August 26, 2014
“”
Pffft… no brainer amirite?
STRONGLY DISAGREE!!! RT @WhiteHouse RT if you agree: Women should earn the same pay as men for doing the same work. Period.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) August 26, 2014
“”
Bet that won him some female fans.
if it ain't an aardvark it won't be a horse.
— Sandra Bernhard (@SandraBernhard) August 26, 2014
“”
Words to live by.
More than 5 lines on your Instagram caption and you're officially a fucking weirdo I don't care how talented and awesome you are you are ODD
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) August 27, 2014
“”
She has a point.
How many other kids are having Uzi 'training sessions' in America today?
— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) August 27, 2014
“”
Let’s hope zero.
I hope I never discover a genie when I’m really hungry, tired, or unhappy with my cell phone reception.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) August 27, 2014
“”
True dat.
I’m considering the YOLO lifestyle, but remind me, why do you only like oranges?
— Joshua Malina (@JoshMalina) August 27, 2014
“”
So not funny, it’s funny.
Waking up was hard to do this am..but house of pains jump around got me goin!do u guys use music to wake u up? I'm gonna do this every am!
— maria menounos (@mariamenounos) August 27, 2014
“”
We’re going to need video of this.
I recently watched a woman walking her dog in the grocery store stop and let her dog PISS in the aisle In front of the eggs. I left
— Adrianne Curry (@AdrianneCurry) August 27, 2014
“”
Seems like the right move there.
I just saw my dad do the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge shirtless… Life isn't the same.
— Syd Wilder (@SydWilder) August 27, 2014
“”
I like her dad’s style.
Chris Paul never wears the same pair of shoes for two games. Says he cracks open a new pair every night.
— darren rovell (@darrenrovell) August 27, 2014
“”
Cool. And now I hate Chris Paul.
Evidently I am approaching a million followers . Fascinating. LLAP
— Leonard Nimoy (@TheRealNimoy) August 25, 2014
“”
Whoa! Calm down there, Spock.
Breaking News: Hello Kitty isn't a cat. Bieber thinks he's Princess Diana. A kid shooting an Uzi is a bad idea. That plane is still missing.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) August 28, 2014
“”
And that’s your week in review.
Sometimes I feel like those Sons of Anarchy promos are bullying me
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) August 28, 2014
“”
They’re so mean.
I love them both. But McDonald's needs to up their cheese bite game and Burger King needs to up their french fry game. #thereisaidit
— Maisie Williams (@Maisie_Williams) August 28, 2014
“”
#HOTTAKE.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie must be excited to finally have sex!
— Joshua Malina (@JoshMalina) August 28, 2014
“”
Will we read about that on the AP wire too?
Now that Brad and Angelina are married, I can FINALLY start worrying about when they're going to get divorced.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) August 28, 2014
“”
Oh, I am sure that’s already begun.
Just took a "which movie are you" quiz on @facebook turns out I'm a
ROM/COM, bc I hate myself
— Dolph Ziggler (@HEELZiggler) August 28, 2014
“”
No way I’m taking that test.
Recently discovered the joys of "brushing your teeth". Everybody should try it at least once. I highly recommend it! #yolo
— Jeff Ross (@realjeffreyross) August 28, 2014
“”
YOLO, indeed.
Full House good but fuck the jabroni Kimmie
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) August 27, 2014
“”
Have a great weekend, everybody!