Fordham University Girl Writes Essay Complaining About Being Pretty, Internet Proceeds To Shit On Her Face

Look, if you’re going to write a piece for Cosmopolitan complaining about how you’re too hot to trot with your “blonde hair, big hazel eyes, 34DDs, and toned calves,” and that being so goddamn hot causes people to pay more attention to your boobs rather than your academic achievements…you’re going to have a bad time. Not because you’re necessarily lying or anything, but because you have to be very, very careful with how you word your essay: 9 times outta 10 you’re gonna end up sounding like a stuck-up bitch.

Speaking of stuck-up bitches, Felicia Czochanski, a junior at Fordham University, sounds like a stuck-up bitch.

Coming to terms with being perceived as “beautiful” wasn’t easy. It soon became how people knew me. People seemed to forget or simply ignore my accomplishments. They disregarded the fact that I’m an athlete, I’m intelligent, and I’m incredibly ambitious. Others did not bother to look past my appearance and actually get to know me, satisfied with the kind of person I looked like I could be.(via)

Translation: not only am I pretty, but I’m also smart and athletic too! Look at how smart and athletic I am! Look! LOOK GODDAMN YOU STOP STARING AT MY BOOBS.

To be fair to Felicia, sounding like the poster child for first-world problems probably wasn’t her intent, and as a pretty girl myself I understand her argument; she just needs to fix her tone. She uses “I” wayyyy too much and the whole thing reads as self-centered, although I don’t know if there’s really even a way to make this sound less “Oh my god I am SOOO hot and it’s SUUUUUCH a bummer” and more “Being hot is nice, but it also has its drawbacks.” Probably best not to touch this subject with a 10-foot pole, regardless of the fact that you’re tired of the baristas at Starbucks throwing you a wink after they hand over your pumpkin spice latte.


And as I’m sure you’ve already guessed, the Internet had its own .02 cents to throw at Felicia:

Better luck next time.

[H/T Cosmopolitan]