How to survive Feminist Class
Being a super-senior and getting ready to graduate with a B.A. in the summer, I found the registrar of my school trying to bend me over and shove four more courses up my ass, prison style. This meant that I had to take and pass a different class during every single
month of summer in order to get my degree, and just like that their go my plans for chilling on the beach and chasing skanks. One night while I was a bit lifted I decided to sign up for my May class. When I was researching all the various course options that I could choose from I started to get really bored and quickly developed the oh too familiar “fuck it” attitude. This led to that kind of decision making where you decide to take a certain class that leaves you hating life for the rest of the semester because you have to do all sorts of shit like wake up at 8 AM to deal with a never ending onslaught of bullshit
that you just don’t care about. Well, in my case I ended up choosing to take a two week intensive learning course titled: Women, Work and Life. At the time when I was in a hazier state of mind I thought that it would be funny… but oh how wrong I was.
When I looked at the class roster a few days before it started I found out that I was the only bro in a class of thirty chicks… Score. I was pretty pumped up at first thinking, “Oh hell yeah, great chance for me to slay”, but I soon found out that I was in for much more
than I had bargained for. I talked to some of my buddies that had taken the two female professors teaching this class and they warned me that they were the biggest C@#$s that they had ever met. Both of these women turned out to be complete feminists bitches and I finally realized exactly what I was up against.
Bros, if you ever find yourself in this kind of situation you need to first feel it out and be very careful. Below I will discuss the three possible approaches that you can take when dealing with a feminist class and what the pros and cons of each will be:
1. Being a Raging Asshole
When I first talked to some bros that had taken this class already they suggested that although it might not be the best approach, I should just say “fuck it” and say whatever I want. The most effective way to do this is by getting recklessly drunk the morning before
the first class (Preferably tequila). Then just go into class being a complete shithead and bash everyone’s views in the most misogynistic way possible. Make your presence known and don’t give two shits even about any of your most insensitive and fucked up opinions. It would also be smart to make sure that you’ve banged a few of the chicks in the class just so you have something to hold over their heads. Unfortunately the only way to pull this off is to come in shamefully the next day and apologize to the class, whether you mean it or not. This is the only way to entertain yourself by acting like a huge dick without getting kicked out.
Pros and Cons: There are two major benefits to this approach. The first and more obvious reason is that it’s funny as hell and will give all your boys some good laughs. You will undoubtedly have a ton of fun and come out with some great stories. The second benefit is that starting so low gives you nowhere to go but up. If the girls feel like they have changed you and made you a better man they will most likely swoon all over your dilly. Although if this approach is handled the wrong way you will probably get kicked out of the class or get into some kind of trouble. So tread softly my friends.
2. Being the Funny Guy
This approach to a feminist class is kind of a middle ground between the other two. Basically it involvs just casually joking around and having a good time with the class. You’re stuck there and it sucks, so you might as well have some fun as your teachers finger blast each other to the Women’s Rights Movement. Crack jokes, but be careful as to not go too far. Remember your trying to make people laugh, which could make you some
friends, but also some enemies.
and Cons: This approach is not nearly as awesome as the other two, but it is probably the safest. Remember that a lot of the women surrounding you are a bunch of cold, soulless, feminist bitches that would love to see you burst into flames. So trying to ease their hatred with humor will probably help the situation. The con for this is crossing the line by saying something too funny or awesome that some chick on her rag will get offended by. So be funny but make sure to try and moderate the humor.
3. Making Everyone Like You and Playing Ball
This is the stance that I chose to take when I was first put in this situation. I know my buddies that had previously taken this course had fucked around a bunch and in turn got shitty grades because the professor hated their guts (They were so bad that she introduced a soccer-style red card system). The first day I dressed nicely and made sure that I looked fresh as hell. I was very cordial to everyone and in turn the teachers took a liking to me. This only lasted three days… After a few days of four and a half our classes dealing with feminist bullshit I simply could not take it any longer. I started to just not give a fuck and say whatever the hell I wanted. This did not go over so well on the day we learned about rape, but it did make me feel better. I guess deep down every bro is just the raging asshole
at heart, so embrace this style only if you are capable.
and Cons: If you can push through the pain of sitting by idly as a bunch of lame chicks that desperately need to get laid bash on your entire gender, then my hat is off to you sir. Although it is excruciating to deal with, you will definitely have the best chance of fucking someone in your class (30 girls to choose from isn’t so bad). If you are capable of doing this then definitely go this route because it will most likely end up with you getting some ass, as long as you play your cards right.
If any of you bros get stuck in this situation may God have mercy on your soul. Not gonna lie these classes suck dick. I would highly recommend the good guy approach, but most likely you’ll end up turning into a raging asshole like a werewolf in the moonlight
once you get what I can only describe as the equivalent of blue balls for people who don’t express their fucked up feelings. Best of luck and may the ball stay in your court.