Indiana Campus Paralyzed With Fear After KKK Member Seen, Oopsies, It Was Just A Priest Getting Froyo

Rumors of a Klansman at Indiana University caused a real foofaraw on Monday night. There were reports around 9 p.m. that there was a member of the KKK walking around the campus with a whip and it sent college students into hysteria.

This frightened many special students at Indiana University Bloomington, even prompting Eigenmann RA Ethan Gill into action and notifying residents of this threatening monster with a panicky email.

Then, the blood-curdling Klu Klux Klan savage was finally spotted!

That alleged “Klansman” is not a Ku Klux Klan member whatsoever. In fact, the very opposite, he is Fr. Jude McPeak, O.P., a Dominican friar and an Associate Pastor/Campus Minister at IU’s St. Paul Catholic Center. And that is a photo of the peace-loving friar grabbing some froyo. And that supposed whip? Yeah, that was his rosary. I don’t know what to tell these dainty SJWs. If you’re that afraid I guess you could go to the strip club to find a safe space where priests and friars won’t startle your delicate heart.

I suspect that when you are always looking for things to be “offended” and “outraged” by, sometimes your feeble little mind begins to actually imagine that you see scary things to be “offended” and “outraged” by even when there isn’t a sinister Boogeyman anywhere near you.

As foolish as these precious snowflakes are, I can actually empathize with their fright a little bit because just this weekend I walked in on a Klan meeting. And they had knives!

Oddly spatulas as well.


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