On Sunday, Vice President Joe Biden threw on a pair of Ray Ban Aviators and addressed the graduates of Yale University on their fancy $300,000 piece of paper that deems them suitable to society for the white collared market. Joe Biden — a VEEP with an awesome iPhone case who whispers sweet nothings to the wives of cabinet members and does bicep curls in his office while taking phone calls about official state business — talked about his personal brand of taking bullshit from no one, from the assholes in ISIS to the hypocritical greedheads in the front office of the NFL.
Anyway, in the commencement address at Yale, Biden made a brazenly Joe Biden statements, including that Corvettes are a superior car to Porsches.
Damn fucking straight they are. That’s finely-tuned American V-8 MUSCLE baby, not some sissy German luxury item for the 1%.
WE WON THE WAR. Suck it, Germany.
VEEP also made fun of dudes at Ivy League schools who sing in a cappella groups. And let’s be honest: They kind of have it coming to them.
Watch some clips above via Politico. Can’t wait for Joe to hit the car show circuit in retirement, pending this not happening:
I hope Joe Biden announces his candidacy for President at a monster truck rally. Or at WWE's Summerslam. In a spandex singlet.
— Brandon Wenerd (@brandonwenerd) April 13, 2015
Never change, Joe.