This Song From Tri-Delt At LSU Literally Shits On Every Sorority, Calling Them ‘Poser C*nts’

Everyone in Greek Life knows that every chapter is supposed to love every other chapter…and everyone in Greek Life also knows that tends to be a load of bullshit. On the surface it’s always “Oh wow so&so raised SOO much money for their philanthropy!” whereas behind closed doors it’s more “Uh, their philanthropy literally raises money for communists. Like, who even fucking likes communists? Losers.” Not every chapter hates everyone else necessarily, but it’s rare to find a campus where Greek Life shares hugs and rainbows 24/7. It’s a bad case of “special snowflake syndrome,” where everyone thinks their own chapter is the best, even if they’re a bunch of boring chodes who suck.

Speaking of boring chodes who suck, apparently Chi Omega at LSU fits riiight into that category. How do I know this, you ask? Because Tri-Delt at Louisiana State took the time to write us all a song about how much all the other sororities on campus suck ass. How thoughtful.

The song goes to the tune of Last Friday Night by Katy Perry:

FINAL SENIOR SONG YEAH

Running up and down the row,
Our heads turning as we go,
Look there’s fucking Alpha Phi,
WHO THE FUCK IS ALPHA PHI?
They don’t even have a house,
Desperation all throughout,
We welcome y’all to our row,
That’s because we know y’all blow.

Here comes Chi-O-O God,
those Bor-ing chodes
They su-uck.
Oh well
Every bod-y knows
Hoot and hollar blows, It’s NO
blind tie.

Last Boys Bid Night
Yeah, we saw those DZ sluts,
They were sucking KA’s nuts
Probably took it in the butt

Last Boys Bid night
Pi Phi smoked a ton of blunts,
What a bunch of poser cunts,
Dressed in tie dye, what the fuck?

Last Boys Bid night
Theta maxed out all their cards
Eating Pluckers by the bars
There they are, those fucking lards.

Last Boys Bid night
Zeta no-ones changed their name
Now we call them ZTA
Oh-oh-oh? (SNAP SNAP)

This Boys Bid night
Do it all again
This Boys Bid night
Do it all again

Stepping up y’alls kappa game
Even though your skit is lame
Got a lazy pledge class
Who only smokes a bunch of grass
Young and foolish, yah okay
Put your hipster act away
When comes rush, your chapter bails.
That was such a fucking fail.

Pretty Girls, Yeah Right
You’re all Her-maph-ro-dites
Phi Whoooo
Oh well
With your lions’ fur.
But we’re pretty sure YOU’RE IRRELEVANT
Damn

Last Boys bid night
Delta Gamma didn’t go
Cause they’re used to hearing no
Kiss your anchor, fucking GO.

Last Boys bid night
Kappa Delta you’re all cray
Know y’all like it when boys spray
when comes Sunday y’all all pray

Last Boys Bid night
KDs getting DUIs
Spreading all those fucking lies
Yeah we know how hard y’all try

Last Boys Bid night
Y’all said we danced on table tops
Will y’all ever fucking stop?
Y’all will never be on top

This Boys Bid night
Do it all again
(Do it all again)
This Boys Bid night
Do it all again
(Do it all again)
This Boys Bid night

F.U.C.KD.
F.U.C.KD.
F.U.C.KD.
F.U.C.KD.
F.U.C.KD.
F.U.C.KD.

While the mature part of me is like “How rude,” the other 99% is like “Wow this actually rhymes pretty well.” Are any of these girls pursuing careers in songwriting? Because I think I sense the next Weird Al somewhere in these lyrics.

[H/T Total Frat Move]