Think fraternities and sororities are the only ones accused of hazing people on a college campus? Think again! THE Ohio State University’s proud marching band is the subject of an extensive University investigation on hazing allegations. It’s not a good look for the Best Damn Band in the Land. Samer Kalaf at Deadspin did a great job digging up some of the amusing highlights of the report, including one about a female stupid sitting on laps pretending to orgasm nicknamed “Squirt.” Band director Jonathan Waters has been fired because of the University’s report
Screengrabs from the report via Deadspin:
How does one get the nickname “Tulsa” and how is that sexually suggestive? Is a “Tulsa” some sort of depraved act like a Rusty Trombone?
Update: OH, I get it: “A slut” spelled backwards.
Also: I actually laughed out loud when I read that a kid nicknamed “Captain Dildo” screamed “Haaaaay, we want some pussssaay.” I can literally hear Captain Dildo screaming this in my head.
Next up: More nicknames from the report, including “Tits McGee” and “Twinkle Dick.”
They also have vulgar songs about other Big Ten schools, set to the school’s fight song:
And! Vulgar songs set to NON-fight songs:
Band kids: They’re never as innocent as they seem.
Read the whole report over at Deadspin…