25 Reasons Spring Break Will Be the Greatest Vacation You’ll Ever Take

It doesn’t matter if you are heading to Panama City Beach, Nassau, Cancun, or Punta Cana, Spring Break is Spring Break. All rules are out the window. The only thing you have to worry about is hanging on to your passport (if you are leaving the country) and making it back home before friends and family start asking about your whereabouts. It is the only time a year you can take off your shirt and no one would give a crap.

Unless you suck at life, you already have an idea that Spring Break is awesome. But just in case you needed a few more reasons, here are 25.

25. Chicks in Bikini’s

Because you were expecting something else? Boobs all day, baby!

24. No Need to Worry About Snow

With all the terrible weather hitting the country over these past few months, heading down to the beaches for Spring Break is one way to avoid the snow and cold. You can have a few drinks, pass out, and not have to worry about waking up to about 10 feet of snow outside your hotel room. Just a bad smelling dame you picked up at the bar is all you have to be worried about during Spring Break.

23. You Won’t Leave a Virgin

If you are one of the few unfortunate souls to have never experienced the love of a woman and you decide to head down to Cancun or Panama Beach for Spring Break, you won’t be leaving a virgin, guaranteed. Imagine walking down a street in your neighborhood looking for a woman willing to have sex with you. No luck, right? Now pretend you are on that same street and fill it with thousands of women in bikini’s and booze. Enough said. Trying is something losers do during Spring Break.

22. Adult Supervision NOT Required

Adults will be all over the beaches during Spring Break but not one of them will be acting like one. The only time you will be worrying about supervision is if the police nab you for being drunk in public and you have to head on down to the station for a minute. Outside of a run-in with the law, Spring Break is adult proof. Act like a kid again and do everything you possibly can without any worries.

21. Babes and Booze

Has there ever been a time in history when beautifully sexy women prancing around in bikini’s and drinking booze was a bad idea? I honestly cannot think of one time that this combination hasn’t worked out. Not to mention, the booze will be everywhere. You can’t fall forward without landing on a beer can.

20. Cheaper

If you have never been to the beach during Spring Break, you are missing out. Normally, you would imagine it would cost more but when you look at the prices, it is actually cheaper to rent a hotel room and split the cost with nine of your closest buddies.

19. Celebrity Run-Ins

You probably will not run into Kate Upton or Jessica Biel but your odds of bumping into Sky Blu or Selena Gomez greatly improves just by leaving your hotel room.  But your best odds will be the reality TV stars. Those are the ones to look for on Spring Break because they are the ones more willing to mingle with the general public. I once ran into Shavonda Billingslea from MTV’s Real World and bought her a shot. It is one of the few memories I can recall from Spring Break.

18. Strip Clubs Become Club Clubs

When I say strip clubs become actually clubs, what I mean is that you will not be able to tell the difference between a strip club and a club club. The women will be taking off their clothes everywhere imaginable so trying to differentiate between clubs and strip clubs will be pointless. Just make sure not to tip more than a dollar, for either scenarios. Anything more is just for ego.

17. Getting Drunk at the Airport

If you live outside of the standard road trip driving zone, you will be flying to a Spring Break destination. And what better way to start a party than by drinking it up before take-off? Who flies to a Spring Break destination without having at least one party shot? That is only the beginning of the party.

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16. You Don’t Have to Clean Up

Outside of wearing a condom, you won’t have to worry about cleaning up after yourself during Spring Break. I do not condone destroying hotel rooms but when someone applies to work in housekeeping in Cancun, they know what they are about to get themselves into. I once spent an entire Spring Break away from my room. I probably slept in my bed once and it stayed unmade. Wait until you leave before worrying about cleaning up. Actually, just wait until you get home.

15. Wet T-Shirt Contests

I don’t think I need to explain the reasoning behind wet t-shirt contests making my list. Have you ever been to one?

14. Children Don’t Exist

Obviously, children do exist, just not during Spring Break. If you head to Cancun, Panama Beach, Miami, or any other Spring Break destination, the one thing you won’t run into too often are children. I don’t hate kids, I just wish I didn’t have to worry about my behavior because someone brought one along.

13. Neither Does Giving A Crap

This tags along with the previous reason. Spring Break is about having fun and not having to deal with life. You will do more things for the first time during Spring Break because you don’t give a crap who is watching and honestly because you just don’t care. It is Spring Break. You shouldn’t have to answer for anything.

12. No Class

Not everyone is in college during Spring Break. For example, I have been done with college for quite some time but I still enjoy a Spring Break vacation every now and then. And why not? Those that are in school aren’t in school during Spring Break. Classes are closed for one week and it usually leads to a number of people celebrating like they just won the lottery. No class equals babes with lower standards. It’s a win-win.

11. Random Game of Water Volleyball Turns Epic

Volleyball on the beach is fun. But when you get a group of strangers, or new friends, together to have a game of v-ball in the pool, adventures ensue. You don’t even have to be any good at it, just make sure you can make a few blocks and hit the ball a couple times to have fun. It will attract a crowd and where there is a crowd, there is a way. And by way, I mean a smokeshow looking for a party.

10. Did I Already Mention All the Women?

There won’t just be one or two, there will be hundred’s of them. Beautiful women from all over the country looking to make mistakes. As they said on Superbad, “We can be that mistake.”

9. No Facebook, Twitter, Meebo, or Google

Go ahead and forget about your phone apps for a week, you won’t need them. Spring Break is great because most of the people attending Spring Break are staying within five feet of your hotel room. All you need to do is remember her room number. Forget about phone numbers, you don’t want to stay in touch when you get back home. Things never seem to work out when that happens.

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8. A Chance to Meet Manti Te’o’s Girlfriend

If you have online friends you haven’t met, this is a perfect time to set something up. Have her bring some friends and meet you on the beach. It is a safe environment and if she isn’t real, it’s cool. You can drown away your sorrows with one of the beach bums in thong bikini’s. I am sure you can find at least one that would love to hear your catfish story. And if you don't have one, make it up.

7. Sleeping In

Well, it isn’t really sleeping in as much as it is waking up. But at least you don’t have to worry about an alarm on Spring Break. They don’t exist. And if you have a buddy that wants to set one, wait until he falls asleep, grab his iPhone, and see if it floats in the pool. Problem solved. Now go take another shot.

6. Road Trippin'

Every great college story begins with a car ride. One of the best moments in any man’s life is his first road trip with his college buddies. If you need an example, go watch the movie Road Trip. I am not saying it is exactly like that but I have never rode in a car on my way to Spring Break and not had at least one crazy “oh shit” moment.

5. Staying High (On Life)

Drugs are bad. However, if you party at one of the few great Spring Break destinations around the US, drugs will be readily available. Just make sure to keep it green and don’t go white. You want to have a good time, not ruin your life.

4. Meet New People

Spring Break isn’t just about having sex, drinking beer, and going to the beach. It is also about meeting new people and making friends. It sounds cheesy but Spring Break is a great place to grow your friend network. You might even find yourself taking some very odd pictures with strangers that could turn out to be members of Congress. Wouldn’t it be nice to ask your new friend to help you out of a jam and to remind him of that one time at Spring Break?

3. Best Breakfast Ever

The best breakfast I ever had was following my second night in Ft. Walton Beach during Spring Break 2004. We woke up, grabbed our flip flops, and headed over to the Waffle House for one of the most epic meals of my life. There is noting better than a good breakfast following a night out on the beach. Nothing!

2. Katherine Webb’s All Over the Place

As I have said previously, the beaches are going to be full of Katherine Webb’s. Instead of talking about how lucky one SOB is for having a girlfriend like Katherine Webb, go out and find yourself one. You can close your eyes, run about 15 feet to the left, and bump into at least 3 of those type of women. So don’t be a bitch, find you a babe to brag to your buds about.

1.Doing Whatever You Want, Whenever You Want

Exactly. Try spending a week at home with no responsibilities, no rules, and no pants. You can’t. Spring Break, regardless of where you go, is a week full of doing anything and everything your heart desires. It is the one time in your life you are allowed to be spontaneous. Do everything you possibly can in one week. That is how Spring Break becomes epic.