It’s amazing how quickly time flies. One day you’re hitting up Thursday night penny pitchers in college and then the next day that dirty 30 number is staring you right in the face. By no stretch of the imagination is 30 years old considered ‘old’, but when you’re in your 30’s you have a lot of perspective on your 20’s. Likewise, when you’re in your 20’s you have perspective on your teens and so on and so forth. A bunch of 30+ Redditors shared their pearls of wisdom on all the most important things that people in their 20’s should be doing. Some of this very practical, like financial advice, others is advice on living a little. I don’t want to sit here and lecture you bros with advice today because, frankly, after drinking for the past two weeks at Phish concerts here in NYC I’m in no position to advise anyone on anything, so let’s just jump right into all of the things you need to do in your 20’s (via AskReddit):
** Do whatever you can to build and maintain good credit. Save money for emergencies. Don’t overextend yourself with credit cards.
** Save for retirement (adding this because so many people mentioned it).
** Exercise regularly. Eat healthier.
** Cut out the negative people in your life.
** Don’t talk shit behind your friends’ backs. If you don’t like someone, that’s fine. Be the bigger person.
** If you can’t forgive or forget, at least move on. Holding onto shit just bogs you down. Is it really worth the energy?
** Get your oil changed regularly. Check your tires. Keep your car clean. Make sure you have windshield washer fluid.
** Keep your apartment/home/living space clean enough so that if someone texts that they’re swinging by, you can give it a quick 10-minute once over and have it not look like a shithole.
** If you like someone, like, like them like them, just ask them out. Don’t pine. If they have a SO, move on. If they say no, move on. Grand romantic gestures are only effective with someone who is already into you.
** Don’t beat yourself up too much for your mistakes (everyone fucks up), but learn from them.
Tell the people that you care about that you care about them.
dont freak out about getting older, freak out about stagnation.
Be social, make friends, find a life partner if that’s your thing. It only gets harder the longer you wait.
Be a good person, you’ll be remembered for it. Many of your friends are on equal employment levels now, but it won’t be long before some rise and be in positions to level you up. Don’t go in debt, being frugal will be more beneficial to you in the long run than short term splurging.
Lift with your legs, not with your back. You’ll miss that when it’s gone.
Make more friends than you think you’ll ever need while you have steady access to them. Its hard when you get older and you never know when the ones you have will flake.
Take care of your teeth.
Do what’s right for you, even if it’s the hard choice. Yes you need to help who you can, but not if it costs you more than you can spare.
Remember you can sheer a sheep many times, but you can only skin it once.
Ask those older than you for their stories, some are amazing, some are bullshit, but knowing the difference will serve you better in life than you could ever know.
Write, even if you’re a terrible writer, use it as a means to flush the cache from your head.
Exercise and take care of your body. Seriously.
I’ve gained and lost weight over the years and was kinda cavalier about it, because the weight always used to fly off me when I would start working out and eating right again. Now I’m 37 and it’s much harder. Make exercise a habit, and you WILL be glad you did later.
Save your money. I look back now at 30 and wish I hadn’t blown so much on stupid stuff
Avoid rushing into marriage and having kids. Establish yourself, have some fun and get it out of your system. 20 year old me had my share of fun, 30 year old me is focused on my wife and kids now. 50 year old me is planning on being that weird eccentric guy that wears Hawaiian shirts and socks with sandals because my kids are grown and my wife has already invested so much of her life in being with me that she just has to accept my quirks. I’ll have what looks like a cocktail in my hand, but it’s really just an Arnie Palmer since I nearly killed my kidneys in my 20’s.
Honestly, I wish I hadn’t taken so much advice from older people and I just went ahead and made all my own mistakes. The older you get the more people expect you not to make mistakes, so enjoy the freedom and stop trying to be 100% prepared for everything.
Work on your health. Start going to the gym now and get in shape now while you’re still young and healthy. Lose weight now.
Save. If this means having roommates to make your rent less burdensome, then do it. Savings and retirement can grow exponentially if you invest/get high interest rates.
Make an effort to stay in touch with your friends. Arrange a bi-weekly game night or movie night or anything. Otherwise two years will go by since you last saw that guy and hey why haven’t you gotten together sooner? you used to be besties.
Don’t listen to people who tell you what you should do because of your age.
Let me eat my Dino nuggets in peace.
Call your mom!
Live alone. Learn to be alone. Find enjoyment in being alone.
Travel! Go places. Meet people. Push the boundaries of your own knowledge. Everything you think you know is a lie.
Well this seems like a good opportunity to post a few of the lessons I learned in my 20s.
To my former self:
If you’re depressed, here’s how to turn it around
Stop drinking, this is the main cause.
Lift weights. This alone could also stop depression. It’s likely related to low testosterone levels
Fapping too much makes the depression worse
Fap less, and never to porn
Ejaculating too often removed your motivation to take actions and start tasks. You can consider porn like a poison for the mind. Pleasurable but it desensitizes you to all other pleasures, making life seem bland and boring. Until the only thing you want is porn. It perpetuates itself.
Whatever you are grateful for will grow
Gratitude is the only way to be happy. If you think about what happiness is, it’s appreciating what you have. When you think of something that would make you happy, you are imagining yourself appreciating it when you get it.
You can have anything you want, as long as you create enough value for others first.
To be wealthy, don’t try and do tomorrow’s work today, just have a successful day each day. If you have more successful days than unsuccessful days, your wealth will grow. As you have successful and productive days, opportunities will be attracted to you.
The key to success in any area is having the right theory. A small amount of work, or a massive amount of work, with the wrong theory, won’t lead to success.
With the right theory, success will be relatively straight forward. When you do the thing, it will basically work every time. Anything that has been done many times before, can be done yourself with the correct theory
When most people speak of the ‘years of hard work’ they put in before they ‘cracked the game’, usually means they were laboring under the wrong theory, and then one day they found the correct theory, and when they applied it, it worked. (excluding world class athletes, talking about common things like starting a business or growing muscles)
Theories can be gathered by spending tens of thousands of dollars on seminars or tens of dollars on books. Both can contain theories that work and theories that don’t work. Higher cost definitely does not mean they have the right theory
Some theories can seem like they are guaranteed to work, but on testing, actually don’t. When someone says they have the right theory, it will seem worth any price. Often they actually don’t. Beware. If possible buy their book and test it for yourself, it’s just as good in book form.
This whole list is a list of theories, as you can see, they are usually quite simple and easy to understand. Complexity is usually a sign the person doesn’t really know how things work
You cannot make a girl like you, you can however find a girl who likes you
They key to getting girls is to get in excellent shape (lift weights), dress well, and talk to girls until you find one that likes you
If a girl is unsure if she you likes you, won’t go on a date with you, or doesn’t let you touch her in anyway. She doesn’t like you. Find one that wants all those things. Don’t be fooled by girls who seem to REALLY like you but doesn’t have time to meet, or won’t let you touch her. They do not like you like that.
Hot girls are just as likely to like you as not hot girls
If you like a girl more than she likes you, and she doesn’t want to meet up/hang out/have sex. Let her go and move on
It’s very easy to get ahead if you just try, most people don’t
You career will naturally progress just through normal learning, don’t worry about it
If you want things to happen without effort and struggle, live a life with gratitude and presence. Things will seem to happen easily and naturally.
Mediation gives you the ability to be your best. Very handy for improving at anything, particularly gaming, as you see more and learn more. It gives you access to creativity in solving problems and improving your performance
Mediation allows you to ‘stop the mind’. Do this if you’re stuck in over-analysis
To meditate, set a time on your phone for 20 minutes, sit still and don’t move a muscle, and focus on your breath as often as you can. Your mind will try to stray, just focus on your breath as much as able. This is how you quiet the mind
Travel. I met a lot of retired people while I traveled who all wish that had done it in their 20s. It’s possible to do it cheap and will be some of your best memories.
Embrace who you are. Most people I know in their 30’s say they wish they were honest with themselves about who they wanted to be.
Eliminate debt. If you can’t buy it with cash, don’t buy it. Pay off your debts as aggressively as you can. Being frugal isn’t that hard. Do a monthly budget and review your expenses. I found out I was spending $8k a year on restaurants and beer. Had no idea it was that high.
Spend money on experiences, not things.
Take Risks. You can bounce back. It’s easier to take risks before you own a home or have a child.
Stay in shape. My metabolism pretty much decided to stop working. Way harder to stay in shape now.
You can only control your own actions. This was a lesson I wish I internalized earlier, as it has made me much happier. I can’t control other peoples actions, so I don’t expect people will do what I want. Makes processing the world easier.
Keep learning. Art, science, business, psychology. Whatever floats your boat. It makes life full and opens up new and unexpected doors.
Develop a simple green thumb. I have so many plants in my house now and it makes the home so pleasant to be in. Hanging ivies are pretty solid.
Keep up with people that make you happy or better – even if you move. More than facebook. Take turn visiting each other once a year if you live far away.
Be honest about your relationships. You only get one life, so you might as well not lie to yourself. It’s usually one person in the pair, but their inaction draws out the pain for everyone involved.
Sex is important. For some. Figure out how to be confident and have fun with whoever you’re with. If it’s important to you.
Learn to take a compliment. This is more personal. I always use to make excuses, and talk down compliments. It’s just a lame thing to do. Now I just genuinely say thank you.
Be present. It’s easy to get caught up on moving through life. I found someone who was great at truly being present, and learned from them what that meant. Even when doing the dishes, I try to think about the water hitting my hands, or the sounds of my neighbors outside.
Think about death. Don’t dwell on it, but I have found it’s helpful to think about life being finite. People will pass on and so will you. Ignoring it is pointless, and accepting it helps put things into perspective.
Enjoy life. No one can enjoy it for you.
Make other people happy. Even small gestures can go a long way – and it feels great.
Be ok with making mistakes.
Don’t over promise and under deliver.
Realize no one is out to get you – people are just out for themselves.
Learn to cook well and shop well.