It’s the kind of WTF moment no one ever wants to have: the leap of faith that goes excruciatingly wrong.
“I can differentiate between a bad person and a person with terrible, bad habits that treats girls like they are disposable trash,” Ashley Gutierrez (@ashleygutierrez887), an Arizona-based law student, starts off her now-very viral TikTok.
Considering her video has been viewed over 12,500 times and counting, it seems it struck a nerve—at least among women trying to date in the Grand Canyon state.
In her video, Gutierrez describes her list of red flags with a younger guy she dated. The first one? On Instagram, he’s following almost 5,000 girls—at least a few of them end up in the comments section of this TikTok.
Flags Keep Flagging
She says they talked for a while. And even though he’s about five years younger than she is (she’s 34), she says he was a great communicator. But still, there’s something about the vibe that feels “off,” she says.
He started out strong, almost pushy, reportedly telling her, “‘I need to take you out ASAP.'”
She says she was skeptical but willing to be convinced.
“He’s very kind, funny, and nice,” she says. “[But] he works a lot.” So he used that to bail on dates.
Finally, she brings up something that bugged her. According to him, one of the reasons he had a hard time following through with a date was “his trauma.” But he processes this “recent loss” by hitting Las Vegas.
Gutierrez says she is done. Though she understands that everyone is different, she sent him the long breakup text.
‘Are We Dating The Same Guy?’
He responded, wishing her best of luck. But the kicker comes when her best friend asked if Gutierrez is in one of those “Are We Dating the Same Guy?” groups. Gutierrez is, and when she types in his name, he’s all over the forum. “Countless posts, from countless girls,” she says.
“This man’s roster is deep,” she says. “He’s a hoe fo’ sho.”
Then the man tried to come back into her life and attempted to explain his trauma to her rather than offer up an apology.
Viewers Weigh In
Unsurprisingly, some women who saw the viral TikTok had also dated this man.
“Oh girly pop! I’m so sorry you had the displeasure of knowing him. I dated him a few years ago and…this dude.. hasn’t changed a bit apparently lol. The man needs Jesus and a psychiatrist,” one shared.
Gutierrez replied, “Girl I literally told him he needs help and he goes ‘I don’t need help, thank you though’ and ‘why are you doing this right now, I just need time to sulk” straight up, try to gaslight me and turn it into him being the victim.'”
“He came to Vegas on 2/1 to see me. we were talking all of January I’m SICK,” another exclaimed.
“Uh we def dated the same dude,” a third wrote.
My Dude, Aren’t You Tired?
People like attention and excitement.
That’s why many women cross-reference their social media research with deep dives on sites that offer community and fact-checking. Basically, sites like Are We Dating The Same Guy exist because guys like this exist. This specific site grew out of an NYC-based Facebook page and counts among its successes hundreds of scams prevented and over 150 years of prison sentences for serial predators.
Gutierrez’s wannabe guy probably thinks he’s charming, but to the women he’s messaging, he probably just seems tired.
BroBible reached out to Ashley Gutierrez via email and a TikTok direct message. We reached out to Are We Dating The Same Guy via email. We will update this article if either reply.