A cranberry and vodka is a respectable drink, right? Actually, according to one Toronto-based former server, if you’re a man ordering this, you’re wrong. And not just wrong, but ripe for ridicule.
As Mackenzie Timianis (@timianis) tells it, when she was a server, her favorite thing to do was, “Anytime a man ordered a vodka cran, I would respond and say: “For your UTI [urinary tract infection]?”
Yikes!
Inevitably, she said the result was “immediate hate.”
She then smiles, cocks her head at the camera, and says, without an ounce of regret, “And I just miss the rush of it all.”
First Things First (In Case You Don’t Know)
A urinary tract infection happens “when bacteria enter the urinary tract through the urethra and begin to spread in the bladder,” explains the Mayo Clinic. Typically, the urinary system is able to keep most bacteria out, but sometimes, “defenses fail.”
That same article notes that if left untreated, UTIs can require IV-antibiotic treatment.
What’s So Funny About A Bladder Infection?
Generally, UTIs aren’t life-threatening. They’re mostly annoying and perhaps a bit embarrassing. This is because it burns when you urinate.
The kicker? Mostly women get them, and folk medicine suggests that cranberry juice can be effective in preventing and treating the symptoms of a UTI.
That’s where Timianis’ joke comes in.
Got Jokes? Get Tips
The consensus in the comments is that it’s all in good fun—except for a couple of folks who seemingly refuse to get in on the fun, promising no tip if they’re ever the butt-end of a burning urination joke.
Kelly (@kpeeezy) cosigns the move. “When I worked at hooters this would have gotten me a 50% tip,” she avows.
“My husband orders vodka crans sometimes & if I heard a bartender respond like that I’d be howling,” writes Gnarlycarlyy__ (@gnarlycarlyy__).
While Itsonlyfair00 (@itsonlyfair00) offers a clap-back to the haters, “EVERYONE saying “OH gOoD FoR A 0% TiP” has no personality or sense of humor.”
“I would love a server to have that sense of humor,” writes Big Kyle (@big.kyle.1).
Does Cranberry Juice Really Work?
But none of the users have addressed the really important question: Does cranberry juice work on UTIs? Suffice to say, the information online is conflicting. Even trustworthy sites like the Mayo Clinic and Kaiser Permanente have unresolved views. The Mayo Clinic says that “if you think” drinking it helps, then there is no harm in doing so. Just monitor your sugar consumption. While Kaiser says drinking it “may help prevent” them. But neither ringingly endorses the red liquid.
However, a study, initially published in 1998 and updated in 2012, argues that the proanthocyanidins present in cranberries help “inhibit the adherence” of the infection-causing bacteria to the bladder.
In 2020, the FDA also weighed in when Ocean Spray submitted a “health claim petition.”
The company was working to link the consumption of cranberry juice to reduced risks of recurrent UTIs. It was petitioning for an “authorized health claim.”
But the FDA didn’t think the evidence presented met the bar for “significant scientific agreement.” So it split hairs, saying it would not “object to the use of certain qualified health claims regarding consuming certain cranberry products and a reduced risk of recurrent urinary tract infection (UTI) in healthy women,” reported the site.
Instead, the company received permission to make “qualified health claims.” That means claims that are supported by some evidence, but not rigorously. Therefore, a disclaimer (by the company) is required to “accurately communicate to consumers the level of scientific evidence supporting the claim.”
All of which is to say: Timianis might’ve cracked a good joke, even if it’s not scientifically supported.
BroBible reached out to Timianis via email and direct message. We will update this if she gets back to us.
@timianiss Server life