Woman Tells Whimsical Story Of How She Resurrected A Bird With Her Breasts

We all know that breasts are magical gifts that give life, but usually from a mother to her offspring. However, this whimsical story is about a female human giving life to a bird with her breasts, not once, but twice.

Summer Heacock, an author who goes by the Twitter handle of @Fizzygrrl, narrated an epic tale of how she resurrected a bird with the power of her mighty breasts. She apparently found a “dead” bird “floating in the water bin we leave out for our raccoons.” Her kids begged her to save the lifeless bird, so she wrapped it up and put it in her shirt to provide it with warmth.

After being nestled in the woman’s bosom for an hour, the “bird starting to breathe after and started moving,” despite still being unconscious. “Guys help my tits resurrected a bird,” Heacock proudly boasted. “I was unaware of my magical lifesaving bird boobs.”

“It’s dry and warm and can move it’s wings and tail and reached up and is gripping the paper towel with its precious birdy foot,” she announced. She then posted a GIF of chaotician, Dr. Ian Malcolm, from Jurassic Park with the caption, “Okay just realized I have a teeny dinosaur on my boobies.”

As she weaved the tremendous tale, Heacock shared photos of her “precious miracle prehistoric fren.” Her daughter set up an emergency bird ward with a special heating pad to give the animal the warmth that was previously supplied by Heacock’s life-giving breasts.

In a tragic turn of events, the family woke up to discover that the bird had died.

“But the kids begged me to try boob therapy again,” Heacock stated, and then things got weird (again), “So I spent the morning with a deceased birdy on my boobs.”

Then a second miracle happened – “I was checking it and it wrapped a foot around my finger and turned its head a little.”

She asked her Twitter followers, “Have my boobs created zombie birb?”

Heacock said she talked to the wildlife rescue, who surmise that the bird smashed into the window and fell into the water bin, where it drowned. The animal was believed to have severe brain damage. She said the movements were likely “just weird things brains do once something is technically brain dead like muscle memory twitches and spasms that control parts of the body.”

However, zombie bird had risen from the dead yet again.

“THE SHOEBOX STARTED MAKING NOISE,” she tweeted. “THEN THE LID STARTED BOUNCING AND A DETERMINED ZOMBIE DINOSAUR WAS CLAWING/FLAPPING/FREAKING OUT.”

“I WAS SO SCARED IT WOULD HURT ITSELF SO I OPENED THE WINDOW AND WE GOT CATS, GUYS BIG MF CATS AND MURDER DOGS,” she wrote. “THERE WAS SO MUCH SCREAMING AND BARKING AND HISSING AND CLAWING AND TIT ZOMBIE FLAPPING SO I PANICKED AND OPENED THE WINDOW BEHIND ME AND IT’S JUST WIDE ENOUGH FOR THE SHOEBOX. I TRIED TO SET IT ON THE GROUND BUT TIT ZOMBIE DINO BIRDS HAVE GOALS.”

The reanimated bird flew out of the house and perched on the woman’s deck.

Heacock said the bird was a Brown Creeper, while most were guessing that the breed of the bird was a tit or a booby.

And that’s the fascinating story of the zombie bird that was twice-resuscitated by a woman’s breasts.