Bro Math: Guy Crunches Numbers To See If Peeing Or Pooping Your Lifetime Supply All At Once Would Be Better

iStockphoto / 3D_generator

If you are looking for high-brow content then you’ve came to the wrong place because we are here to do some ‘Bro Math’ and by that I mean, we are addressing a viral ‘would you rather’ hypothetical question that has been going around the Internet. This one in particular is pretty sophomoric and that’s why I love it… Would you rather take one long pee that is the equivalent of all the pee in your lifetime or would you rather take one really fast long/tall poop?

Now, before you ever watch the video below you almost certainly have a gut instinct on which you’d rather go with in this hypothetical situation. Some of you would rather take one long pee with the equivalent of a lifetime’s worth of urine. Others reading this would want to jump straight to a fast poop equivalent to all of the feces from one’s life. And while you might think there’s no wrong answer here because it is a hypothetical, as you’ll soon learn there is a very, very wrong answer.

Over on TikTok, Andrew Trujillo ran the numbers. He looked at the average volume of urine, daily frequency of urination, average lifespan, and more. What he came up with is takes 3m30s to urinate a pint. That number multiplied by 28,343 days (average lifespan in days) comes out to 99,200.5 minutes which is equivalent to 68.89 days and 3,548.88 gallons of urine.

He then points out that an average swimming pool has a volume of 19,000 gallons so with a few buddies choosing this hypothetical option a pool could be filled in just over 2 months. Here is the video with that breakdown + the second option:

My favorite part about this is how silly and inane it all is but how matter-of-fact and serious he gets with regard to the pooping hypothetical. His feces numbers come out to a 17.32 mile poop. And this is ‘one quick poop’ which he says is 1 minute.

Traveling 17.32 miles in one minute would require hitting a speed of 1,039.2 MPH and in that instance your body would explode from pooping so fast. No holes were poked into the ‘one long pee’ logic about how over 3,500 gallons of urine could possibly be inside of one’s body but when it comes to the latter hypothetical suddenly science matters. All of that is to say I think his answer was a foregone conclusion because he made his mind up before running the bro math.