When dating red flags start piling up, most people know it’s time to cut their losses.
But sometimes you need that one final moment of clarity to confirm what you already suspected. That’s exactly what happened to this woman after several date mishaps.
In a viral video with more than 147,000 views, TikToker Lex (@lifewithlex444) shared the story of how a promising relationship came crashing down.
“I really thought that I had experienced every single scenario when it comes to men, but it turns out that every man that I continue to meet just continues to show me things that I never even thought were possible,” Lex says.
She explains that she’d been dating someone for a while. And things were going well enough that she invited him over for what she calls “a little adult sleepover.” Everything was fine until the next morning when her building’s fire alarms went off.
Woman Overlooks Morning Incident, Lives To Regret It
After the alarms finally stopped, Lex went to use the bathroom.
“Upon walking into the bathroom, I see that the toilet is not flushed, and there is pee all over the toilet seat,” she recalls.
She tried to rationalize it, saying maybe the alarm had him confused. But then came breakfast.
Lex asked if he wanted anything to eat, and he requested two eggs. So she got up, made him tea, and cooked his eggs. The whole time, she says he stayed in bed scrolling on his phone.
“He did not ask to help me at all. He didn’t even try to come in here and talk to me while I was making his food for him,” she says. “I don’t know how else to describe it. But in that moment, I just really felt like his maid.”
After eating, she says he left his plate and mug out without offering to clean up. Lex says something else happened that morning that was “downright inappropriate,” but she wouldn’t share the details on TikTok.
“Basically, anything that could have gone wrong that morning went wrong,” she explains.
Despite her concerns, Lex says she decided to communicate everything to him. His response seemed promising.
“He was very apologetic about it. And he was like, ‘I’m so embarrassed. I’m ashamed of myself. That’s never gonna happen again. Thank you so much for communicating this with me,'” she recounts.
She says she appreciated the accountability and lack of defensiveness, so she decided to keep seeing him.
Mini Golf Date Reveals True Colors
Then came their next date at a mini golf course. Lex’s golf ball wasn’t working properly, and her date tried to get a worker’s attention. But instead of walking over and politely asking for help, he did something that made her blood run cold.
“He stood there and was like this to him,” Lex says, gesturing a dismissive wave at the employee from a distance.
“I was mortified. The way, like, this, to me, is so demeaning. It’s giving ‘You work in the service industry, and I’m so much better than you, and you need to, like, serve me,'” she says.
That moment crystallized everything she’d been trying to ignore.
“I just remember sitting there in that moment feeling such secondhand embarrassment for him, actually more so embarrassment for myself that I was next to a person that was acting this way,” she explains.
Looking back, she says she realized there were other subtle signs of arrogance she’d dismissed before.
“There are so many other things now that I’m thinking back to it that he said and that he did that were slowly giving away signs that he is so arrogant,” Lex says. “And they weren’t even like outwardly huge red flags. They were just kind of these subtle things that my body kinda reacted to.”
But the mini golf incident combined with the bathroom situation was too much.
“The pee on the toilet thing was insane. Like, you are a man in your 30s. You are a man in your 30s, and you are not flushing the toilet at someone else’s house,” she says. “I just—I don’t have words anymore.”
She adds, “I love dating in my 30s. I really do.”
In her caption, she added, “I really wish I was doing all of this for satire. what I would give for all of my dating experiences to be myths & not my real life.”
Early Warning Signs
Relationship experts say how someone treats waitstaff, baristas, and other service workers is one of the clearest early indicators of their true character.
“If they’re dismissive, rude, or constantly criticize those around them, this pattern will eventually extend to you,” relationship coach Katie Dissanayake tells Vogue.
Licensed marriage and family therapist Claudia Giolitti-Wright adds that how someone treats family members, friends, co-workers, and strangers “offers insight into their character.”
According to therapist Kirstin Carl, treating wait staff or others disrespectfully is a common first date red flag that signals trouble ahead.
She emphasizes that “honoring your instincts and honoring your boundaries are vital in the beginning stages of a relationship.”
Other early warning signs include pushing boundaries, making you feel responsible for their emotions, and an inability to see your perspective during disagreements.
Carl notes that people often ignore these gut feelings when swept up in new relationship excitement or when they’re making excuses for someone’s behavior.
The key difference between a yellow flag and a red flag? Red flags are patterns that persist even after being addressed.
“Red flags are serious warning signs that appear repeatedly and often intensify despite discussion,” Dissanayake explains. “In these cases, protecting your wellbeing should take precedence over hopes for their improvement.”
Commenters React
“And keep in mind, the beginning of relationships/dating is when men try their hardest and are on their best behavior. This is him trying his best and being on his best behavior Lex!” a top comment read.
“That alarm was symbolic,” a person said.
“Imagine living with him every day,” another wrote.
“When a man shows you who he is, believe him,” a commenter added.
BroBible reached out to Lex for comment via email and Instagram direct message.