Kimberly P. Mitchell/Imagn
We currently live in some scary times. Disinformation has never been more prevalent and media literacy in the United States is currently at an all-time low. It’s times like these where we should be able to lean on tried and true institutions to lead the way. However, one of the bedrocks of our country appears to be dead set on leading the American public astray.
That’s right. I’m talking about Elmo.
The beloved Sesame Street character has had a rough go of things recently. First, the entirety of Twitter decided to dump their trauma on the poor guy. Then Larry David went out and attacked him on live television. But things settled down for Elmo as the year went on and on Monday, he celebrated his what should have been his 45th birthday.
BIRTHDAY, BIRTHDAY, BIRTHDAY! TODAY IS ELMO’S BIRTHDAY! 🥳❤️🎂🎈 pic.twitter.com/UoNbYfZ8tf
— Elmo (@elmo) February 3, 2025
The key word there is “should.” Elmo was born in 1980, making him 45 years old. And yet every single time his birthday rolls around, he has the audacity to lie.
“That’s right! Elmo’s going to be 3-and-a-half,” Elmo said during a 2024 appearance on the Today Show, “just like last year and the year before and the year before.”
Now, listen, lying about your age once you hit the other side of 40 is cliche at this point. It’s a fun little joke. But 3.5?! First off, how are you turning three-and-a-HALF on your birthday!? Make it make sense, Elmo! Secondly, we gotta come up with a more realistic number here. It’s entirely possible that Muppets age at a different rate relative to human beings. But this isn’t a dog years situation. You are 45 and the whole world knows the truth!
In these trying times, if we can’t believe in Elmo, what can we believe in?