Buying a meaningful gift for someone you love sounds simple in theory. You know them, you spend time with them, and you probably think you understand their taste better than anyone else.
Still, good intentions don’t always translate to a gift the other person wants. That’s what one woman realized after sharing a Christmas gift she gave her fiancé on TikTok.
In a viral video with more than 1.6 million views, TikTok user Ella Richman (@ella.richman) explained how she bought her fiancé what she thought was the perfect present, only for him to openly dislike it.
She Thought The Gift Was Thoughtful. He Didn’t
“My fiancé and I are getting married next September,” she says. “And I bought him what I thought was the most perfect holiday gift, and he hated it.”
She explains that this isn’t the first time something like this has happened, and she admits she’s hoping he just needs time to come around.
She gives important context about her fiancé’s style.
“He is somebody who does not adorn himself,” she says. “He doesn’t wear a watch. He doesn’t like any logos. He wants to be very muted in terms of his sense of style.”
Because of that, she says, she’s been especially excited about one specific wedding detail: cuff links.
“This is like the first and only jewelry-type thing ever that I’m gonna be able to get him to wear,” she says. “Because you need to wear cuff links with your tux.”
The Fiancé Wasn’t Impressed
Ella explains that she wanted something special but subtle, something that felt appropriate for both him and their wedding. After researching vintage vs. new options, she landed on a New York City shop called The Missing Link, known for vintage cuff links often used in film and TV productions.
She opens the box on camera and shows the gift.
“They’re from the 1940s,” she says, describing 14-karat gold cuff links with a very light blue, almost gray stone. She notes that they also came with matching shirt buttons. She says she felt they were perfect for their Hamptons wedding.
“I did so much research,” she says. “I went to so many places. I talked to his brother, who loved these.”
Then came her fiancé’s reaction. “Sam opened these and said, ‘What about me makes you think that I would like these?’” she says.
She adds that he thinks the cuff links are “girly,” and she asks viewers to weigh in, either to reassure her that they’re neutral or to be honest.
Commenters Aren’t On Her Side
In the comments, many viewers sided with the fiancé, arguing that the gift was more about the wedding than the person receiving it.
“Bro got … cuff links for Christmas,” one person mocked.
Another pointed to the mismatch between effort and intent: “You spoke about why the gift was perfect for the wedding, but not about why it’s perfect for him. You clearly put a lot of thought into the gift but that doesn’t always equal thoughtfulness.”
Others echoed the same idea. “You’re thinking of the wedding, not him and his likes,” one commenter wrote.
Some were even more blunt. “I hate siding with a man but girl u got those for u not him,” another said.
“To be loved it to be seen,” chimed in another. “This gift made him feel invisible from a woman he recently proposed to. Yikes.”
BroBible has reached out to Ella via TikTok messages to see whether the couple ended up exchanging the cuff links or finding a compromise both of them felt good about.
@ella.richman Sorry I’m long winded but can I get some hype for these please we need to convince Sam to keep them ‼️‼️‼️#weddinggift #boyfriendgifts
How To Pick A Gift The Receiver Will Most Likely Enjoy
In a BuzzFeed article about how good gift-givers decide what to give, contributors shared a few practical tips.
One common approach is doing a little social media homework. Several gift-givers said they’ll scroll through someone’s Instagram to spot patterns in what they already like.
If a friend posts about a book, they might look for something similar. If they wear the same types of outfits or accessories often, that can help narrow down what feels natural to them now, not months or years ago.
Another tip that came up repeatedly was separating what feels good to give from what the other person would actually want to receive. As one contributor put it, it’s easy to lean toward gifts that feel impressive or generous, like expensive jewelry, even if that’s not the recipient’s style. In those cases, a simpler or cheaper item that fits their taste can land better than something flashy that feels off.
Some people also said they treat gift ideas like a long game. Instead of scrambling at the last minute, they mentally log things friends and partners mention throughout the year. That could be an interest they keep coming back to or a small problem they complain about that a gift could solve. In those situations, the gift feels less symbolic and more personal.
And then there’s the option many people still feel weird about: gift cards. BuzzFeed contributors pushed back on the idea that vouchers are a cop-out, arguing that they often make the most sense, especially when the recipient has specific tastes the giver doesn’t fully understand. For things like makeup, skincare, or niche hobbies, letting someone choose for themselves can feel more considerate than guessing.