This morning, I broke down and finally bought myself a new computer.
I’ve had my desktop since 2010. The computer three operating systems behind. The hard drive sounds like an ’89 Corvette when I start it up. A few programs just refuse to work. A month ago, the computer just refused to go to sleep.
I put off the purchase for months because it’s a substantial amount of money and will probably have buyers remorse until the computer arrives, I boot it up and realize this old horse was dragging my productivity to a halt.
I realize with age comes financial responsibility, usually by accident. Ten years ago, I dropped just as much money on my current computer without blinking an eye. I didn’t think much about the money because I stupidly put it on a credit card. Credit cards feel like someone else’s money.
I paid cash for this computer. It felt good.
This is a lesson from a dad to all the younger people reading this post – don’t put shit on credit cards. If you can’t afford it, don’t buy it.
OK, enough serious dad talk. Here’s the funny stuff.
Me: Whose dirty socks are on the floor?
Me: They look like yours.
6: They belong to the floor now.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 23, 2020
This morning I staggered to the kitchen
There, in a neat row, I found 20 pipe-cleaner flowers and a chipper 6yo
He said he made them at night, so I asked how long he’d been up
With wide eyes he replied:
This will be a long day
But it had a sweet start.
— A Grateful Dad (@pianovocaine) September 25, 2020
I would rather burn my house down then turn the heat on before October
— Mattewe🥈 (@mattewe02) September 25, 2020
I feel like a lot of things would be different if we had all just stopped, collaborated and listened
— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) September 24, 2020
you were only born because your mom forgot to get your dad a birthday present.
— dan (@dadopotamus) September 24, 2020
Me: “I think I’ll take a quick nap.”
World around me: “CUE ALL THE NOISES!!”
— Chris Illuminati (@chrisilluminati) September 19, 2020
7yo: Dad, my teacher heard you cuss while I was in class!
— Shannon Carpenter (@HossmanAtHome) September 24, 2020
Dreamed I was having a colonoscopy and when I got to the hospital, I realized I’d forgotten to do the prep. Pretty exciting. I’ve finally unlocked the middle age version of the forgot to prepare for a school test dream.
— Andrew Knott (@aknott21) September 25, 2020
My authoritative dad voice is Christian Bale Batman.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) September 25, 2020
You think you know someone, then you hear them pronounce caramel.
— The Dad Briefs™ (@SladeWentworth) September 24, 2020
The only actual difference between gen x and millennials is that when taking pictures on a phone gen x uses their pointer finger and millennials use their thumb
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) September 24, 2020