My kids were supposed to go back to school on Tuesday. Three days remote, two days in school.
At 5pm on Monday, the school called to report that 30 kids in the district tested positive for Covid-19. The school will remain 100% remote.
The best way to describe the roller coaster of feelings that day would be – you know those date nights when your wife says “we should probably have sex tonight when we get home” and when you get home she’s not in the mood anymore?
Yeah. Just like that.
My 7yo just "completed" his assignment by emailing the teacher that he would do it later and then wished her a great day.
So I think he's pretty much ready to go into the corporate world now.
— Shannon Carpenter (@HossmanAtHome) November 10, 2020
This pandemic has prompted a lot of questions like, “Is the next surge coming” and “When will there be a vaccine” and “Has my wife always been this aggravated with me?”
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) November 13, 2020
Never thought I’d say this, but playing Go Fish with my 4- and 6-year-old for like 3 hours is getting a little dull
— Andrew Knott (@aknott21) November 6, 2020
Me: Why is there toothpaste on the wall?
6-year-old: I was brushing my teeth.
Me: But why is it on the wall?
6: I just explained it.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 12, 2020
Sometimes I feel like I'm finally an adult and then I get knocked back into reality when I laugh at car commercials that say "super duty"
— Chris Illuminati (@chrisilluminati) November 13, 2020
I bought this really cool science kit at the grocery store that teaches you about growing mold in two days, also known as strawberries.
— Dad Bits (@DadBits) November 13, 2020
“What if you could stab juice with a stick?” – Inventor of Capri Sun
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) November 12, 2020
i bought pumpkin spice twinkies today. it's about to get basic up in here tonight with the air fryer.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) November 12, 2020
Duct taping my PS3 and PS2 together, sometimes you gotta improvise
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) November 13, 2020
I was singing to myself when my son got really upset. “What’s the matter?” I asked. And with a grave face he spoke his truth “I think you’re a great dad, but your songs are terrible.”
In all the many ways I’ve been told to shut the hell up, this one was the nicest.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) November 13, 2020
When I randomly walk into a room in my home and find my kids playing quietly together I slowly and silently back out like I've stumbled into a den of hungry velociraptors who by some miracle haven't noticed me yet.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) November 12, 2020
Wife: Why have you been on your phone all night?
Me: (Pausing the 12th video in a row about smoking a turkey) It’s already night?
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 13, 2020