Twitter / @thecatwhisperer
Father’s Day has passed and dads officially have nothing to look forward to until Christmas.
Sure, we’ve got random family cookouts and maybe, possibly, hopefully, a family vacation. But those events are shared with other people.
The one day that’s all about dad is over.
Life sucks again.
Eh, at least we’re all still funny.
Here are the 25 funniest tweets and memes from fathers this week.
My four year old has informed me that he doesn't want us to get a lion. Not because they're deadly predators, but because he's allergic to cats and thinks a lion would make him sneeze too much. I'm just glad we discussed it before I went shopping.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) June 25, 2020
Hi, welcome to Chuck E. Cheese. Everything is visibly dirty and our mascot is a rat, eat some pizza near a sneezing child.
Come on down for some rat pizza at our child casino.
— Daniel Johnson (@danevanjohnson) June 25, 2020
Today I learned that heat-seeking missiles use the same technology that toddler feet use to locate dog shit in a deserted park
— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) June 25, 2020
https://www.instagram.com/p/CB3huNnAAGg/
Can't wait for all the Back to School sales at liquor stores this year.
— The Dad Briefs (@SladeWentworth) June 25, 2020
excuse me while i mute your tweet that i retweeted because i'm getting more notifications on that than my own cause i suck and i hate you now
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) June 25, 2020
My wife said she was having a bad day, so my 10yo made her some nachos. That boy’s going places.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) June 25, 2020
https://twitter.com/CrockettForReal/status/1276199766657925120
https://www.instagram.com/p/CByAmNPJ0Zp/
Of all the things I predicted might be in our future, “fashion masks” were not among them
— ADHDean (@ADHDeanASL) June 26, 2020
I still lose sleep when I think about the time I accidentally told my second grade teacher “I love you” and she didn’t say it back
— Adam (@adamgreattweet) June 25, 2020
I’m not the kind of dude you take someplace that has a dress code
— Bad Mikey (@BadMikeyBad) June 25, 2020
Once your children learn to use Netflix on their own the rest of your life can truly begin.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) June 25, 2020
Alexa, mute my children.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 25, 2020
Dear Katie. I’m single. (Makes phone sign with hand) https://t.co/gqgYwElhFf
— Chris Illuminati (@chrisilluminati) June 26, 2020
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Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling. Reach out to him on Instagram & Twitter.