Twitter / @wtfdad
It’s July 4th weekend. Normally, we’d all be having a hell of a time.
But, you know, fucking Covid.
People everywhere are miserable but we can’t be miserable together.
For example, all of the dads in this round-up of funny tweets and memes sounds like a fun hang.
But nope, we’re all stuck in our own backyards with hoses down our pants or staying 6 feet away in public places and bars are closed and the virus is washing over all of us again and this all sucks my grandpa’s left nut.
Not his sturdy, robust nut. The saggy left one with the stray ball hairs that make it look like he’s wearing some type of nut toupee.
Anyway, enjoy these tweets and memes and have a good laugh and let’s all have a virtual Zoom beer at some point this weekend.
I’ll send the group invite.
Welcome to marriage. Here's the new way you fold towels.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) July 1, 2020
What’s your favorite part about traveling with kids and why is it not a god damn thing
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) July 1, 2020
Just remember, no matter how bad your day is going, there are some parents out there with white furniture
— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) July 1, 2020
When I was a kid, my dad used to say he’d knock me into next year.
I wish he was here.
— The Dad Briefs (@SladeWentworth) July 1, 2020
[loud bang]
Me: What was that?
6-year-old: Nothing.
Me: Then what did I just hear?
6: A loud nothing.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 2, 2020
“Today feels like a good day to have a good day!!”
(checks news)
(walks outside, digs hole, jumps in)
— Chris Illuminati (@chrisilluminati) July 1, 2020
You know you picked out the best fireworks when the guy running the stand gives you a high four on the way out.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 2, 2020
I was pretty happy when I got married and had kids, but I got a new grill yesterday and I gotta tell ya, this ranks right up there.
— Shannon Carpenter (@HossmanAtHome) June 30, 2020
https://twitter.com/lincnotfound/status/1278101102047698945
Most people don't know this but the one of King Arthur's knights known for pulling pranks was Sir Prise
— Nate Limit Exceeded @natesmith.dev on bsky (@perlhack) July 2, 2020
I love how my 4 yr just walks around stating the obvious and I gotta act excited about it. He be like daddy this is a table and I be like oh shit I never seen one up close.
— dADDisms (@Beagz) July 2, 2020
2020 is like being barefoot and discovering where your cat threw up on the carpet
— Bart (@bartandsoul) June 28, 2020
https://www.instagram.com/p/CCFVE3Ipte5/
***
Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling. Reach out to him on Instagram & Twitter.