Twitter / @dadandburied
This week felt like a month.
Protests, self-isolation, quarantine, and generally bad news.
It’s been really hard to laugh or say anything funny, but by god, we’ve got to give a shot.
Here are the funniest memes and tweets from parents this week that make for a temporary distraction from the world.
I have resting "because kids" face
— Tales of a Waffle House Server. (@AutisticDad23) June 5, 2020
My kid just turned 5 and went on a streak of good behavior because “I’m 5 now, daddy.” Anyway, that was a fun 30 minutes.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) May 31, 2020
“You’re such a disappointment,” my 14yo said after I assigned her chores, and I think she’s been talking to my mother in law a bit too much.
— Shannon Carpenter (@HossmanAtHome) June 4, 2020
Every hour can be Happy Hour if you plan correctly
— Chris Illuminati (@chrisilluminati) May 27, 2020
My favorite is when my kids give me advice on cooking, driving, parenting, and everything else they've never done a day in their fucking lives.
— Stone Cold Daddy (@Stonecolddaddy_) June 4, 2020
I had a serious conversation with my 10-year-old. At the end of it, he asked what animals have butt cheeks, so I guess that went well?
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 4, 2020
This summer, don't forget to spend an hour building a fire outside and teaching your children how to roast marshmallows so you can enjoy that sweet, sweet feeling when your son tells you he prefers the marshmallows untoasted and your daughter throws up in the woods.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) June 4, 2020
Me: Do you offer contactless delivery?
1-800- Contacts: We’ve asked you to stop calling
— Son of Dad (@ThugRaccoons) June 4, 2020
https://twitter.com/Ygrene/status/1268351362619842560
4 yo: Mommy, daddy put chocolate milk in his cereal.
Me: *coughing* Narc.
— dADDisms (@Beagz) June 4, 2020
https://www.instagram.com/p/CBBLDpYgD4s/
https://www.instagram.com/p/CBCgnYWFOdW/
https://www.instagram.com/p/CA8qpP8hclc/
https://www.instagram.com/p/CBBUncshUDU/
https://www.instagram.com/p/CAylG0OH9Df/
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Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling. Reach out to him on Instagram & Twitter.