Future Believes, And I Quote, That His Baby Mama ‘Unilaterally Impregnated Herself’

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Of all the dope, high-profile professions out there, I feel like being a rapper (or a musician in general) would be at the bottom of my list. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll trade places with Future right now, but if given the choice, I’d rather be an actor or a movie star.

Being a rapper just seems like it can get out of hand quickly. One day you’re a Grammy Award winner and the next day the world remembers you’re Macklemore, ya know?

Or you can be like Future: one day you’re a single bachelor on the top of the rap game and the next one of your side pieces is claiming you owe her half of your assets because she’s pregnant with your child.

Now, while that’s a tale as old as time — a rapper knocking up a rando — what is new is the excuse Future is using to deflect responsibility: he’s claiming the woman stole his, uh, DNA and used it to, and I quote, “unilaterally impregnate herself.”

What did Future mean by the “stole my last name” claim? The lawsuit addresses the purported basis for the allegation:

“This allegation that Ms. Seraphin “stole my last name,” refers to Mr. Wilburn’s misguided idea that Ms. Seraphin was somehow able to unilaterally impregnated herself with Mr. Wilburn’s DNA (rather than because of the 2 years of unprotected sex the parties previously engaged in), and that by giving the child who was subsequently conceived as a result of these sexual relations Mr. Wilburn’s last name, that Ms. Seraphin thereby “stole” Mr. Wilburn’s last name.” [via Complex]

How Future can actually prove that his baby mama stole his seed, I have no idea — but I respect the effort! Certainly an innovative method.

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Eric is a New York City-based writer who still isn’t quite sure how he’s allowed to have this much fun for a living and will tell anyone who listens that Gotham City is canonically in New Jersey. Follow him on Twitter @eric_ital for movie and soccer takes or contact him eric@brobible.com