Hidden Valley
- Hidden Valley is ruining the holidays with its newest innovation
- The company has drawn the ire of the internet thanks to the ranch dressing eggnog kit it’s selling for the holidays
- Check out other weird foods here
There aren’t many things that help me get in the holiday spirit quite like the copious amounts of spirits contained in a typical batch of eggnog, as there’s nothing quite like a night of questionable decisions fueled by too many glasses of the winter staple.
You can technically consume non-alcoholic versions of the quaff that’s traditionally made with a combination of cream, sugar, and (yes) eggs, but my mentality has always been that if you’re going to subject your arteries to that mixture, you might as well invite your liver to get in on the action as well.
Most people kick eggnog up a notch with the addition of a mixture of various spirits—I had a family friend who relied on a recipe with a list of liquors so long it would’ve been easier to just say the types of booze he didn’t harness—so while there may be a differing of opinions concerning exactly what should be used, I’m pretty sure basically everyone on the planet would agree there are certain things that should never be thrown into the mix.
For example, I can’t imagine many people were begging for eggnog that tastes like ranch dressing, but thanks to Hidden Valley, that’s now a thing that sadly exists. According to Food and Wine, the company is selling a limited-edition “RanchNog Kit” for $50 a pop, which includes a jigger, two branded glasses, a couple of packets of ranch seasoning, and a recipe for the drink that was dreamed up by the complicit mixologists at Whiskey & Rosemary.
Hidden Valley
As you’d expect, plenty of people online are less than thrilled with this development.
I like ranch, I like eggnog.
Fuck this, this is crime against mankind. It’s creators should be spoken the same breath as the worst people of human civilization. I may not buy ranch anymore just because of this https://t.co/d2FgJwHOuk— Untitledcarshow (@untitledcarshow) November 19, 2021
https://twitter.com/bettinamak/status/1461739357161799683
https://twitter.com/EmilyBezak/status/1461446835839684611
*walks up to replicator*
Ranchnog, hot.
*gets immediately shot out of airlock* https://t.co/4P9EpYaLgC— dannybaruela.bsky.social (@dannybaruela) November 19, 2021
https://twitter.com/RunwvyTony/status/1461687583080009730
Every day we stray further from God’s light.