Jury reprimanded for laughing after hearing about defendant’s ‘tiny member’

Laughing via Shutterstock


The sexual assault charges against Max Clifford is nothing to laugh about, but for a brief moment, the jury listening to the case found some testimony pretty damn hilarious.

Clifford, a powerful publicist in the UK, is on trial for groping and sexually assaulting countless women and young girls over the past few decades. Yesterday, one of the women came forward to testify against Clifford. She told a horrific story about the guy that won’t be recounted here. The questioning turned to Clifford’s package, I’m assuming to prove this woman is telling the truth.

Here’s what she had to say about the big man’s little donger:

“The court has heard claims that his penis is “tiny” and no more than two-and-a-half inches when erect. When Richard Horwell QC, defending, asked her about the issue, the woman remarked: “I have a small mouth. I do, my dentist has always said.”

This prompted laughter on the jury, which was sent out for a few minutes. Jurors returned to be told by judge Anthony Leonard QC: ‘It is inevitable in a case dealing with this sort of graphic detail that members of the jury want to burst out laughing.'”

Well, there was at least one massive dick in the room that day. Hopefully that dick gets what’s coming to him.

Max Clifford jury told to ‘settle down’ after laughing at penis size evidence [The Guardian]

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Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.