Why should you have to pay for something you don’t want right? That was the sound logic by two Floridians who brought a $5 million lawsuit against McDonald’s. The two individuals declared that they had “suffered injury” by the burger giant because McDonald’s forced them to pay for cheese even if they didn’t want the cheese. No really, that’s what happened. They were ba da ba ba ba not lovin’ it.
The “victims” allege that they were unfairly subjected to paying full price for Quarter Pounders despite requesting that they did not want the slices of cheese on the burger. Cynthia Kissner and Leonard Werner opened the lawsuit in May and desired to be rewarded for all of the pain and suffering of being subjected to ooey-gooey, melty cheese on their burgers. Oh the horror.
“Notwithstanding the availability of Quarter Pounders and Double Quarter Pounders, customers have been forced, and continue to be overcharged for these products, by being forced to pay for two slices of cheese, which they do not want, order, or receive, to be able to purchase their desired product,” an actual attorney wrote in an actual lawsuit for $5 million.
McDonald’s should countersue these maniacs for not wanting cheese on their burgers. Who wants a hamburger when they can have a cheeseburger, for the same price.
U.S. District Judge William Dimitrouleas told the plaintiffs that they will pay for cheese and like it. “[A] pleading must contain a ‘short and plain statement of the claim showing that the pleader is entitled to relief,” the judge wrote. “This pleading standard ‘does not require detailed factual allegations,’ but it demands more than an unadorned, the-defendant-unlawfully-harmed me accusation.” So getting cheese on your burger does not qualify as “suffering an injury.”
“[T]here is no market for a customer to come into a McDonald’s restaurant and order a slice or two of ‘cheese’ as a product that is separate, distinct, and independent from any other product or menu item,” the good judge wrote. “Nor is there a separate product market for a customer to order a slice of tomato, or a slice of lettuce, or a slice of pickle, etc.” Or sesame seeds on your buns or ketchup or mayo or mustard or anything else. So the judge basically ruled that you get what you get and you don’t get upset or sue people for $5 million in an absurd and frivolous lawsuit.
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