Women have been known to accuse servers of flirting with their partners. But how often do they actually confront the server about it?
That’s what Los Angeles server Madi (@madi.hall1) thought she had in store for her after serving a couple on a date. “I remember I thought that the guy was, like, really attractive, and, um, I didn’t want to overstep ‘cause they were on a date,” she says in a TikTok with 17,000 views.
She says she wanted to help them have the best dinner possible, so she was “super nice” and attentive and chatted with the customers. However, all of a sudden, the woman kept looking at Madi, making the server concerned that the woman thought she was coming for her man. She tells viewers that the woman had nothing to worry about and that the couple eventually left the restaurant.
Things Take A Turn
Madi says the woman then came back into the restaurant and asked to speak to Madi. “She’s gonna chew me out ‘cause I was kinda flirty with her date, or her boyfriend, or her husband,” Madi recalls thinking.
Then, Madi says the woman threw a curveball and demonstrated to the server that she was a “girl’s girl.”
“She goes, ‘Hey, I was just on a first date and honestly, like, the guy was just really, really boring. Can I get your number and hang out?” Madi recounts.
Madi says she agreed, and the two hung out.
‘She Liked Your Vibe’
In the comments section, viewers found the story surprisingly sweet. Others questioned whether the “hang out” was friendly or flirty.
“She wanted a ‘Sister-Without-Actually-Being-Sisters’ relationship with you!” one said.
“Update ? Friends or casually dating?” a second questioned.
“Y’all hung out as friends? Y’all still talk?” a third asked. Madi liked this comment.
Another viewer shared what it’s like to be the man in a situation like the one Madi described. They wrote, “I once took a girl out on a first date, she started feeding the hot waitress fries in front of me in a sexual way. I felt special ‘she’s trying to turn me on, nice’. Slept w her for a few months.. Well after me she came out as full lesbian and moved in with a chick. Mind blown.”
@madi.hall1 Story Time With Madi #restaurantstory #server #storytime
Flirting Or Financial Strategy?
Madi admitted she was being kind of flirty and found the man attractive. The behaviors she describes are common tactics servers might use to get a larger tip. She mentions being kind, bringing them everything they needed, and chatting with them.
According to Fliptable, these are psychologically proven tactics that help servers get more tips. Behaviors that could be read as kind of flirty are all things servers can do to increase their tip:
- Smiling often
- Giving a light touch on the arm
- Putting effort into your appearance by wearing a hair accessory
- Complimenting a customer
Additionally, servers can build a rapport with customers and create reciprocity with small things like a thank you note on the receipt with a smiley face.
In a Reddit thread, a server questioned if she should be flirting with male customers to receive bigger tips after a co-worker told her she wasn’t flirting enough.
Several men who commented said they wouldn’t tip more if a server flirted with them, though some contended that men definitely do tip servers who flirt with them more. The general consensus was that kindness and attentiveness will get a good tip while overt flirtation is a hit or miss. It could be read as genuine kindness or disingenuous and unprofessional.
Madi Got Lucky. Some Customers Get Incensed
In another Reddit thread, a woman said she was very upset that her server had been flirting with her partner all night, and it all came to a head when she touched him on the arm (which, if you’ll recall, is a common way servers can increase tips). She found the touch completely inappropriate, and said her partner politely declared that he would appreciate if she stopped flirting because he was out with the woman he loved.
Commenters agreed the server crossed a line.
One wrote, “This happened to me and I was on a date and paying. Her tip reflected the boundary that was crossed.”
Another service industry worker said the server was bad at playing the delicate game of customer relations. “This is weird. I’m a stripper and it’s common knowledge for us to pay more attention to/flirt with the woman of a hetero couple. This waitress is an idiot,” they wrote.
BroBible contacted Madi via press email.