A Nashville bartender is challenging the stereotype that service workers need to be overly friendly or flirtatious to earn good tips.
Instead, she’s built her entire approach on the opposite strategy and claims it works even better.
Bartender Rejects Flirting, Embraces ‘Bullying’
In a trending video with more than 18,000 views, bartender Lindsey Marshall (@lindseyshops123) pushes back against assumptions about how bartenders make money.
“I love it when I tell people that I’m a bartender, and they’re like, ‘Oh, you probably have to flirt so much to make tips,'” she says at the start of the video.
“Baby, do you know who the f— I am? I’m a certified f—— b—-. OK?” she adds.
Marshall explains that her approach is the exact opposite of what people expect. Rather than engaging in small talk or showing romantic interest in customers, she actively shuts down conversations before they can even start.
“I don’t even give people the opportunity to tell me anything about themselves,” she says.
She demonstrates her typical interaction.
“‘Hey. How are you?’ ‘I’m good. What can I get for you?’ ‘Where are you from?’ ‘I’m from here'” she shares. The exchange is efficient, businesslike, and leaves no room for extended conversation or personal connection.
“Like, what do you mean flirt for tips? Not me,” Marshall says. “I bully people for tips.”
The caption on her video drives the point home. “Bully, not bartender. Get it right or don’t get it at all,” it says.
What Actually Makes Customers Tip More?
Marshall’s reverse psychology strategy isn’t unheard of. Another bartender admitted to wearing Steelers fan merch in enemy territory to purposely upset customers. She also says this leads to bigger tips.
While this confrontational approach may work for some bartenders, traditional bartending wisdom suggests very different strategies for big tips.
A former bartender who worked in the industry for nearly a decade shared techniques with Business Insider that consistently helped her earn more than her coworkers, and none of them involved being mean:
- Show the work: Craft drinks directly in front of customers while maintaining eye contact and conversation, making the process visual with a little flair. “If a guest sees that you care about what you’re giving them, they’re likely to tip more than they normally would,” the bartender explained.
- Build genuine connections: Remember regulars’ names, stories, and drink orders. “People want to feel remembered, understood, and appreciated. If you make them feel special, they’ll want to make you feel special, too,” she said.
- Upsell strategically: Recommend additional food and beverages to increase the bill size, which increases the tip amount.
- Tell cocktail stories: Share the history behind classic cocktails to make customers feel connected to a bigger piece of history.
- Know your good tippers: Business Insider reports that regulars, craft-cocktail enthusiasts, couples on dates, and business clientele tend to leave 20% or more. Fellow hospitality workers are the most generous, often tipping 40% or even more than 100%.
Commenters React
“The meaner you are, the more money they tip. Everyone’s hating in the comments bc they fell for it,” a top comment read.
“I don’t flirt but I’m def nice to people. During nightclub there’s no time to talk much so I make my tips being a human octopus lmao moving and grooving fast haha,” a person said.
“No fr, I got shit to do, what do you want to drink? You’re not gonna have to wait long for anything and I’m gonna make it worth the money. My flirt language is snark & efficiency,” another wrote.
“I had a beautiful bartender who everyone tried to flirt with. She would say, every dog has its day, and today isntbyours,” a commenter added.
@lindseyshops123 Bully, not bartender. Get it right or don’t get it at all #bartender #broadway #nashville
BroBible reached out to Marshall for comment via TikTok direct message and comment. We’ll be sure to update this if she responds.