“Always look for the helpers” is one of Mr. Rogers’ most famous bits of advice. And some of you take that very seriously. But perhaps no one takes it more seriously than the woman who wants an espresso martini. But, gasp, there’s no espresso left at the bar.
Jaim (@shamrockxo) was out for drinks in Hoboken, New Jersey, when the unthinkable happened. The main ingredient in an espresso martini was nowhere to be found. Not even a single, presumably overlooked, K-cup.
Solving This Coffee Emergency
So, using all of the conveniences of the 21st century, Jaim solved the problem in the most direct manner possible: She Instacarted a tub of Café Bustelo to her location. She filmed it and put it on her TikTok page, where it got over 468,000 views and set off a firestorm in the comments.
To be fair, the results are pretty unforgettable. As the “Piano Man” x “Silver Springs” mashup plays, a delivery person walks up. He’s got the iconic yellow Café Bustelo can in his hands and an unimpressed expression on his face. Meanwhile, a dark-haired woman wearing a black lace bodysuit gleefully grabs the container. It can only be described as a “victory snatch,” while her joy-filled expression underscores the promise of an epic night ahead.
Cheers To Everyone
The comments section breaks down into roughly two camps: fellow celebrants and service industry workers telling their own caffeinated tales.
Tarah Valentine (@tarahvalentine) recalled, “I have a customer who once went home and brought his own espresso beans.”
Bryanna B (@bryanna.bay2) confessed, “One time the restaurant I worked at lied and said we were out cuz the bartender got tired of making them. I would’ve died laughing if this was how the customers responded.”
Another espresso martini drinker recalled a similar situation. They said, “I was at an airport bar and ordered an espresso martini. Bartender goes ‘if you go over there to Starbucks and buy some espresso I will make it [hysterically laughing emoji].'”
Another viewer called Jaim the “absolute worst kinda customer.” But JAIM got the last word. “Too bad the bartender gave me clearance to do this,” she replied with an air kiss emoji.
Are Espresso Martinis A Hassle To Make?
The espresso martini origin story goes like this: It’s London, 1983. A model wanted a drink that would “wake her up, then f— her up.”
A common sentiment in Jaim’s comment section was that espresso martinis are a pain to make. “One time the restaurant I worked at lied and said we were out cuz the bartender got tired of making them. I would’ve died laughing if this was how the customers responded,” one viewer commented.
“As somebody that worked in the industry for way too long, I could tell you that they were probably just tired of making them,” another said.
Espresso martinis are tricky because they require more than simply shaking together the ingredients. The original recipe calls for a “freshly pulled espresso shot,” so the bartender ends up doing double duty as a barista. And because the espresso is hot, it sometimes makes the shaker explode. Ugh, frothy coffee and vodka everywhere.
In a 2021 Grub Street article, one bartender admitted he doesn’t keep the ingredients on hand so he doesn’t have to make them. (Though, clearly, that’s not really an insurmountable obstacle). And people love them. They’re currently the fourth most popular cocktail in the world, according to Drinks International’s annual roundup.
However, bartenders think they’re the most overrated drink.
But wait, there’s a hack to making a tasty, easy coffee-ish martini: cold brew concentrate is considered a “servable alternative.”
For backyard bartenders, there’s a simple workaround: 1 ounce of vodka, 1 ounce of coffee liqueur, 1 ounce of espresso or cold brew, half an ounce of simple syrup (optional). Combine all ingredients in a mixing glass. Shake with ice, then strain into a glass. If you’re feeling fancy, garnish with three coffee beans.
It’s not authentic, but totally servable.
BroBible reached out to JAIM via TikTok direct message and with a comment on her post. We will update this article if she replies to us.