After a night out with friends ended on a sour note, a New York woman says she skipped the tip at a bar. Now she’s wondering if she handled it wrong, and viewers have a lot of thoughts.
What Happened For Her Not To Tip?
TikTok creator Brooke (@brookeburns16) shared a storytime about a bartender who, according to her, gave attitude from the minute they walked in. The clip racked up more than 16,400 views.
“Are we the a—— for not tipping our bartender?” she asks at the start of the video. She explains that she and her friends went to a decently crowded bar, but the bartenders already “weren’t the friendliest.”
When they ordered, she says they wouldn’t speak at all. “They just kind of look at you like this,” she says, demonstrating a nonchalant look. “They give you your drink, wouldn’t say a word.”
Later that night, she and her friend went up to order again. The bartender walked over, stared at them, and both women hesitated for a split second because they weren’t sure who was ordering first. “Within that split-second hesitation, he walks away and starts serving someone else,” Brooke recalls.
When he finally returned, they ordered, but her friend’s drink was wrong. “If I’m paying $20 for a drink, I want it to be right,” she says. Her friend politely asked for it to be remade. The bartender grabbed the drink, dumped it out “everywhere,” then poured and mixed a new one without looking at them or speaking, “not even once.”
He slammed it down, spilling all over the place. “At this point we’re like, ‘All right, f— that guy. We’re not tipping him.’”
As they walked away, they warned another group of girls behind them that “the bartender’s kind of an a—–.” That’s when he noticed the receipt.
She Alleges It Gets Physical
“The bartender picks up the receipt and sees that there’s no tip on it,” Brooke says. “So he takes the receipt and the pen that we had written it with and chucks it on our heads and goes, ‘Thanks a lot.’”
She says that moment solidified it for her. “If I don’t tip you because you made my drink wrong, and then you throw the receipt at my head… now I’m really like, ‘F—- you,’” she says.
She ends by clarifying that she normally tips 20% even during mediocre service. “But if you’re just gonna be an a—–, you’re not gonna get tipped.”
Is It OK Not To Tip If The Server Is Rude?
Even in a world where it feels like every payment screen asks for a tip, etiquette experts agree that customers aren’t obligated to tip in all situations. And they’re definitely not required to tip someone who’s openly rude.
A bartender or server can be busy, short on time, or even overwhelmed, and people generally understand that. Still, there’s a line between moving fast and being dismissive. If an interaction crosses into attitude, contempt, or a full-on negative exchange, customers are within their rights to lower or withhold a tip.
There’s one caveat: If the issue isn’t the server’s fault, such as slow service or kitchen mistakes, etiquette experts recommend adjusting the tip gently.
@brookeburns16 Being nice is the bare minimum
Commenters Are Divided
In the comments under Brooke’s video, viewers took sides.
“I’m sorry he THREW A PEN AT YOUR HEAD?! Not only would I not be tipping, I would be speaking to the manager,” one person wrote.
“Before I heard the story I was like YES!” another stated. ”Then I heard the story, NTAH this time! As a bartender who gets busy af and annoyed, but I never let the guests know!”
A different bartender chimed in with context: “There comes a certain point in the night where most conversations go out the window. You have to move so quickly that everything comes down to eye contact.”
Others weren’t convinced Brooke handled it right. “I fear this is how a busy bar works,” one user commented. “And then you didn’t tip him, which is a crazy thing to do at a bar.”
A fifth viewer wrote, “I mean when it’s busy if you’re not sure what you want don’t go up to order.”
Brobible has reached out to Brooke via TikTok messages.