A restaurant server’s recent experience went viral, and it’s a reminder of why sometimes, women choose the bear. For context: it’s the hypothetical question: “Would women rather be alone in the woods with a strange man or a wild bear?” For many women, it’s a no-brainer—four paws down every time.
Server and Arizona State University math major Gemma (@gemma.moro) just told her story to over 1.3 million people on the internet, and her experience makes the bear choice understandable.
Some Thoughts You Can Keep To Yourself
“I had a table tonight of two old white guys,” kicks off Gemma’s rant. “And when I say ‘old,’ I mean like old, old,” she shouts.
Then she speculates that neither man has been to a restaurant since 1950, because they behaved like it was 1950. “They asked me my ethnicity, and when I told them Italian, they said, ‘Oh yeah, we can tell. You have an Italian figure,'” she says.
Gemma kept her composure but recognized the outdatedness of the comment: “First of all, thank you. But second of all: Who the f— says that to somebody?” she asks.
She says the rest of the meal was a comedy of patronizing errors. At one point, she says she fought to keep in a tart reply wrapped in advanced calculus speak. “They asked me a question about the menu, I stuttered for [a]… second while answering their question, and the guy looked at me. He said, “It’s OK if you don’t know the answer, honey.”
Presumably she kept it together at her table—after all, this wasn’t a rant about how she just got fired.
Instead, she let it out online. “Let’s go bar-for-bar right now. Let’s take an IQ test. Because last time I checked, I was up last night doing my calc three homework and writing … triple integrals. And I guarantee, if I gave you a pencil right now, you wouldn’t even have the dexterity left in your old-a– hand, decrepit hand, to write your own … name.”
Gemma winds up saying, “Stop talking to me like I’m some … idiot because I’m a young woman!”
Commenters Do The Math
Overall, the internet is on Gemma’s side. Some of them are just there for the epic server rant, while many offer suggestions and a few commiserate.
One viewer offered this advice: “You are supposed to insult them. They only respect sass. You gotta do it in a funny way though. (granted if you are too funny they might come more often).”
Another user, @tryingmybest408, imagined how the meal concluded: “And after all that they hit you with ‘oh you don’t have a senior discount?’ Like nah, you want to have an attitude and be rewarded for getting…old?”
‘Eat At Home’
“If you are losing cognitive abilities please eat at home,” Gemma captioned her video.
It’s tempting to make an overarching statement like, “Old people shouldn’t eat out.” But eventually we’ll all be old, and chances are, at least once in a while, we’ll want to venture out and have a meal we didn’t prepare. So perhaps the better (and more helpful) question is: How should one deal with inappropriate rudeness?
A quick sweep of the internet reveals that lots of people have opinions on the dining behavior of elders. A BBC article posits that rudeness can be a sign of being “out of practice” with human interaction. Though this article was written in the wake of the pandemic, that notion still seems applicable.
Another server and writer treads with compassion. Darron Cardosa says it took him some time to realize that most older diners often “just want to talk.” Instead of getting frustrated, he leans into patience and respect. It is also worth remembering that sometimes, the poor behavior is a reflection of cognitive decline. Gemma acknowledges this (albeit harshly) in the video’s caption.
While that’s a little extreme, it is a reminder that respect is a two-way street. And just because in 1957 it was cool to ogle the waitress, it bears remembering that in 1957, doctors were also endorsing cigarettes. Things change. The upshot? As you age, you don’t have to overhaul your personality, but, like, do adapt.
BroBible reached out to Gemma via her listed email. We’ll update this article if she replies to us.
@gemma.moro If you are losing cognitive abilities please eat at home #serverrant #server #serverlife #serverstories #serverproblems