Portland Police Find A Bunch Of Drugs In Bag Labeled ‘Definitely Not A Bag Full Of Drugs’

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You typically want to do what you can to stash illicit substances in a solid hiding place if you know there’s a chance you’re going to attract the attention of law enforcement, and it would appear storing them in a bag that explicitly states it’s not home to any drugs isn’t a foolproof strategy if you want to avoid getting sent to jail.

I can’t say I have any expansive personal experience when it comes to committing felonies, but I’ve watched enough episodes of Cops to know there’s a general rule you want to adhere to if you find yourself in that situation: don’t break multiple laws at the same time.

For example, if you’re driving around in a car with drugs on your person, you want to avoid speeding, running a stop sign, and other traffic violations that could give the police an excuse to pull you over.

There’s also only so much you can do to avoid that unwanted attention if you happen to be behind the wheel of a stolen car, but it never hurts to not have any drugs inside it if you somehow manage to end up doing exactly that.

That brings us to what unfolded in Portland, Oregon earlier this week, as Oregon Live reports police conducted a stop on Tuesday night after spotting a vehicle that had been reported stolen.

The officers subsequently executed a search of the car and discovered a loaded gun, multiple scales, and a sizeable amount of cash along with a bag labeled “Definitely not a bag of drugs” that did, in fact, contain more than 10 grams of meth and fentanyl.

The driver was ultimately charged with possession and the intent to distribute as well as the possession and operation of the stolen car.

Good job, good effort.

Connor Toole avatar and headshot for BroBible
Connor Toole is the Deputy Editor at BroBible and a Boston College graduate currently based in New England. He has spent close to 15 years working for multiple online outlets covering sports, pop culture, weird news, men's lifestyle, and food and drink.