There are two household chores I absolutely hate to do: mowing the lawn and cooking. This is why I pay someone to mow my lawn and why I east so much takeout.
That being said, I may have just discovered a cookbook that’s right up my alley… because it was created by a bunch of toddlers.
I mean, if pre-schoolers can make these recipes, and think that they will taste good, how hard can it be?
The recipes come from a tweet shared by Jordan Adams, whose nephew Ethan and his class at pre-school created the dishes, and they are awesome.
Check out some of these kickass recipes, beginning with Ethan’s A+ eggs concoction…
• Serves: 10
• Prep time: 1 hour
• Cook time: 2 seconds
• Cost: $3.00
• Ingredients: Pancakes, sugar, Skittles
• Where to buy: Texas Roadhouse
Instructions: First you put pancakes and then sugar and that’s it. You can cook it, but you can go to my house and I will give you eggs because my mom makes eggs all the time. You can eat them with a spoon. Don’t put anything on them because that’s how you makes eggs, with nothing.
Two seconds?! Three bucks? Now this is my kind of cooking.
Now peep Joe’s sweet taco recipe…
• Serves: I don’t even know
• Prep time: Like 45 minutes
• Cook time: I think 55 minutes
• Cost: I don’t even know
• Ingredients: Get the meat and lettuce at HEB. Taco shells are there too. I have cheese at my house so I don’t have to go to the store and get more. Potato… wait… is it potato or tomato… no, tomato
• Where to buy: I don’t know where to get the other stuff
Instructions: First I don’t actually know, I really don’t remember anything. Can I change this to cheesy roll ups? Because they are super easy. There is only 3 stuff you need, white cheese, yellow cheese, and tortilla. I don’t even want to make tacos anymore. I don’t even know how. It is so hard think about tacos. But I can make cheesy roll ups. They are super easy. They come from Taco Bell. I need yellow cheese and I don’t know where to buy the white cheese. I don’t know how to make tacos. Cheesy rollups are better because I know how to make them. I don’t think… one time I made candy and it turned brown. I don’t want tacos anymore. I like them, but I love cheesy rollups more. I don’t like beans because they make me throw up. My mom made me a burrito one time with beans and I threw up. Wait…I know how to make watermelon it is easy… just buy the watermelon and eat it.
Joe is going to be eating a lot of takeout too when he gets older too.
Ariana’s macaroni recipe is straight fire…
• Serves: 3 people
• Prep time: 5 minutes
• Cook time: 5 minutes a day
• Cost: I think $2
• Ingredients: Melted cheese, macaroni, apples, strawberries (I like them because they’re healthy), toys, backpack, doll
• Where to buy: Walmart and Target and… wait… I am trying to think… oh yeah… the mall
Instructions: First you put the macaroni in the stove and now you put it in the end. Put it to the oven and put cheese and moe melted cheese. The oven has to be hot like fire…like a candle…like for birthdays. Now you need to tell everyone that its time to leave. And I ahve to leave because I am going to a party with a swimming pool. My sister says, “Why do you go to the swimming pool?” and I say, “Because I like it.” Now I go home and I am waiting for it to not be hot and then my sister says, “Why do you do that?” It’s because you blow on the macaroni so it won’t be hot. You need to wait. Now it’s done!
And finally, Sebastian’s pancakes…
• Serves: 3 people
• Prep time: 10 minutes
• Cook time: 3 times
• Cost: $70
• Ingredients: Salt and that’s it
• Where to buy: Walmart
Instructions: You get a thingy from the house and you put it in the hot thingy. Turn on the hot thingy and it burns so you have to be careful. You make like, something and put it in and it cooks. Then you get a plate and finish it. Don’t leave the plate on the table, you have to throw it away in the wink or flies will get on it.
Best. Recipe. Ever.
Seriously though, why hasn’t someone collected a whole bunch more of these and published an actual cookbook?
URGENT QUESTION: Where can I send my twenty bucks for my own copy?— Jessica Roberts (@jessicaroberts) May 18, 2018
joe is so stressed out. it's ok joe, you don't have to make the tacos— 99 Ricki Lake (@cataxista) May 19, 2018
currently taking down notes of these recipes pic.twitter.com/huJVut0VbF— Esra (@eahmedi_) May 19, 2018
I just whipped up some of Sebastian’s pancakes, absolutely amazing; a true culinary prodigy 👌🏽😫 pic.twitter.com/UqH0yxDok4— 🚧 Linguist in Training 🚧 (@andr__gant_) May 21, 2018