Petty is as petty does. Right? Well, few things are pettier than adjusting your server’s tip down. Especially after an appropriate tip amount has been inked in.
One Florida server recently ignited a firestorm in the comments section of a TikTok that’d garnered over 84,400 views.
Of the 241 comments on Sarah Nicole’s (@sarahnicoleoffical) post, it seems like every other one is extolling the so-called virtues of gratitude in servers. Others are hollering about the responsibility of restaurant owners to pay a living wage.
20% Is The Tipping Average
These users behave as if servers’ hourly wages aren’t baked into federal employment law. Nevertheless, the debate about tipping seems to drag on and on. Largely because during the pandemic, tipping became a way to signal appreciation to workers who were dealing with the public. Now, it’s established protocol for many businesses to offer a tipping option at point-of-sale, even at establishments that are not full-service. Some of which aren’t even food-related (looking at you, boutique soap shop).
So it’s understandable that the discourse can get a little heated. But complicated feelings about tipping are no excuse for downgrading an already established gratuity. Yet this level of pettiness is exactly what Sarah Nicole found herself dealing with from a recent table.
In her short but impactful video she shows the bill, $112.89, and explains what happened to her. “I was serving a couple tonight, and the guy left me $18, still not 20%, but it’s OK,” she says.
Then, the man’s dining companion got involved.
“The woman he was with crossed it out and put $10 instead,” says Nicole. And one look at the bill shows this clearly. Now the server has taken a loss. Instead of getting close to the accepted standard of 20% for a tip, she’s actually made closer to 11% on the table.
The Truth Is In The Hashtags
Sarah Nicole doesn’t offer any more commentary on the event, but her hashtags offer some clues to what she thinks went down. In addition to “serverlife” and “wtf,” she’s added the hashtags “insecuregirls,” and “prettygirlproblems.”
However, without first-hand knowledge of the woman who adjusted the tip, it’s hard to say exactly what happened. Yet the question remains: Are insecure women unkind to prettier women? Or is that one of those “truths” that doesn’t have a basis in reality?
Psychology Today affirms the claim. It reports that fear, envy, jealousy, suspicion, resentment, rage, and anxiety can all trigger poor behavior. Bullying or the simple need for control can also play into the choice to be low-key nasty. Behavior like this can also have a narcissistic edge. For people like this, “It doesn’t enter their consciousness to even consider that they need to be an adult: reasonable and inquiring.”
‘Tips Aren’t Guaranteed’
Matt Carter (@mattcarter743) makes the point that “tips aren’t guaranteed.” And he’s correct. However, tipping in restaurants is a part of the social contract. Yet, it’s still so divisive that starting a “virtual barroom brawl” is as simple as starting a tipping thread on a foodie website.
Scur (@thecrownofscur) indulged in a little trolling. “My god, be thankful,” he instructed.
But there are a few voices who speak up in support of the server. “I hate having to explain tippin to people …. It’s her job 20% is the average she’s not expecting nothing crazy,” Rage (@lonergirlrage) said.
In a time when the internet stays ready to argue over the value of service, the choice not to tip—or to adjust the amount downward—says more about the customer than it does about the server.
BroBible reached out to Sarah Nicole via TikTok direct message and with a comment on her post. We will update this if she gets back to us.