Given how dynamic the modern dating scene is, it’s hard not to have opinions about your friends’ dating lives.
Spotting red flags, especially, is often something your friends can be a good sounding board for.
However, when one woman on TikTok recently shared what she considered a first-date red flag for her guy best friend, the internet thought there was much more to it.
What Was The First-Date ‘Red Flag’?
TikTok creator and realtor Emma (@slimmmmydee), who often shares glimpses of her life in New York City, posted a short clip commenting on her guy best friend’s most recent date. Her video has garnered over 489,600 views.
“Do we think this is a red flag?” she asks before explaining what happened.
She says her best friend had gone on a first date the night before with a girl he met at a bar. The problematic behavior, according to her, was the place the woman chose for their first date.
“She chose Masa,” Emma says. “He didn’t know what Masa was, and he took her there.”
For context, Masa is a Michelin-starred Japanese restaurant in New York City. It’s also one of the most expensive fine-dining experiences in the country, with the average cost exceeding $1,000 per person, according to a report by Time Out magazine.
“Is that a red flag?” she asks. “I immediately was like, ‘Oh my god, I would never do that.’”
Emma says a thought immediately entered her head: “Gold Digger Alert.”
“This was an immediate red flag in my book,” she adds in the video’s caption.
Commenters Weren’t On Her Side
In the comments section, most viewers assumed she had an ulterior motive.
“Just tell him you like him sis… he might like you too,” one commenter wrote.
“Calling a woman a gold digger just for naming a restaurant is wild,” another wrote. “Some women just have standards and aren’t shy about them.”
“It’s a red flag that he didn’t plan the date or at least look into the place she picked,” another commenter added.
Is It A ‘Red Flag’ If Your Date Picks An Expensive Restaurant For The First Date?
The answer to this question, of course, depends entirely on the couple. For some people, dining at a place like Masa may be a regular treat. For others, it may be a more unattainable experience.
A restaurant choice like this may also reveal differences in lifestyle, regardless of financial status.
One Reddit user recently asked on r/Advice whether a woman they had met but hadn’t yet gone on a first date with was exhibiting “red flags.” According to them, the woman had hinted at “luxurious” activities such as shopping or high-end dates for their first meeting.
In the comments, most agreed this was a blatant “red flag.”
“Expecting high expenditures on a first date is a clear communication that she wants a rich or self-destructive dude, and that’s a higher priority to her than emotional compatibility, shared goals, or anything else,” one user wrote.
However, it’s also worth considering a different perspective. Today, the idea that the man on a heterosexual first date should always pay is somewhat debated.
“Ideally, I’d prefer if I paid for myself, and he paid for himself,” one user wrote on r/dating_advice about the debate. “I don’t want him to start feeling like I’m using him for free food, and I don’t want to feel like I owe him anything because he paid.”
@slimmmmydee This was an immediate red flag in my book #nycdating #dating #datingstories #datingstorytime
BroBible has reached out to Emma via email to request a comment and additional details.