Survivor 45 Episode 2: Is Brandon The Worst Player Ever Cast?

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There have been 45 seasons of the hit CBS television show Survivor. And, through the show’s transition from cultural phenomenon to a mainstay for over two decades, over 650 players have been cast. And, they may have found the worst player ever in Wednesday night’s elimination, Brandon.

After being thoroughly unimpressive in the first episode of the season last Wednesday, Brandon, a 26-year-old content producer from New Jersey, was somehow worse on Wednesday.

Last week, in one of the worst episodes in the show’s history, Brandon was a key member of the comedy of errors that was the Lulu tribe.

Upon arriving to start the game to meet the other contestants with host Jeff Probst, Brandon broke down and cried, saying that this was his dream for over a decade to be standing there in front of Jeff Probst. Sadly, it seems like he never thought past the introductions.

Immediately after, in the first challenge, he couldn’t get up a ladder in the water and had a panic attack. Later, he failed at the puzzle during the immunity challenge, and may only have been saved at tribal council because his closest ally, Hannah, quit the game before the vote.

Now, players have gotten off to incredibly slow starts before, only to come back and win the game and the million dollar prize. And, episode 2 on Wednesday was setting up to be a redemption arc for Brandon! That is, until he started playing.

After refusing to pick up a “beware advantage” because he didn’t want to lose his vote, he was selected by tribe mates to go on a boat to an unknown destination. Once there, he was faced with a dilemma to risk his vote at the next tribal council and try to solve a puzzle for an advantage. Naturally, the self-proclaimed puzzle guy failed at the puzzle. To make matters worse, he immediately let his tribe know that he had lost his vote upon returning to the camp’s beach. That’s information they didn’t need to know, and in Survivor, information is currency.

Still, he had one more chance to turn things around, once again finding himself trying to solve a puzzle. You can guess how that went for Brandon and his tribe.

His tribe mates were basically forced to vote him out, as he’s simply not good at anything. It will be day 6 when they wake up in the morning, and they are still without flint to make fire. Competence in challenges is Paramount, even in an era where they matter seemingly less than ever on Survivor.

Brandon clearly had enthusiasm for the game. I’m sure he’s great at Survivor bar trivia. The problem is, everyone in that same bar is likely better than him at Survivor.