The Best Sandwiches I’ve Ever Had—And What They Taught Me About Life

Editor’s Note: Welcome back to our BroBible relationship column from romance author Leslie Cohen. Read last week’s column here:

Presented in partnership with LoveHoney, for all your intimate bedroom needs. Use code “AFF-BROBIBLE20” at checkout for 20% off your order!

You’ll never forget your first time. When you encounter a truly delicious sandwich, the memory stays with you forever. It’s about more than just two slices of bread. It’s about the journey, the destination, friends, family, love, revenge, mystery, sex, gossip… life.

1) The Spicy Special at 109 Spicy Gourmet Deli in New York

Cajun turkey, pepper jack cheese, shredded lettuce, tomato, mayo, on a soft hero.

Is it just me or is there something comforting about a very simple but kind of tricked-out turkey sandwich? They take this smokey, spicy turkey (probably Boars Head but I’ve never seen it anywhere else) and add totally standard deli pepper jack cheese, then put it on the grill, hit it with crisp, shredded iceberg lettuce, tomatoes and a generous amount of mayo. The hero bread is a bit crunchy on the outside, but soft on the inside.

You bite into it and you are immediately transported to a fluffy cloud of sandwich perfection. I used to eat this sandwich as a college student (it’s well known amongst the Columbia University crowd, virtually unknown by the rest of New York City) and it’s a classic turkey sandwich but done incredibly well. I still go back up to Columbia to get it, and I still can’t explain why it’s so good. Something happens on that grill. Maybe it’s the lingering presence of the thousands of bacon, egg, and cheese sandwiches that have come before it. Maybe it’s nostalgia for a simpler time.

Takeaway: Spare me your bells, your whistles, your lines around the block. Something doesn’t have to be fancy or heralded by food influencers on Instagram in order to be good. Just like the best nights out are the ones where you’re not going anywhere special, where you didn’t even want to go out in the first place— sometimes the best sandwiches fly under the radar, at an unglamorous bodega on the Upper Upper West Side.

From our sponsors: Lovehoney

Lovehoney

Speaking of SPICY….. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to take your intimate needs in the bedroom to the next level. Trust the experts at Lovehoney. Use our exclusive code AFF-BROBIBLE20 to take 20% off their entire collection of adult toys and lingerie—delivered in discreet packaging so your nosy neighbors are none the wiser.

TAP HERE TO SPICE THINGS UP WITH LOVEHONEY

2) The #23 Panini at Antico Noe in Florence, Italy

Spicy salami, marinated sun-dried tomatoes, brie, pesto sauce, on pressed panini bread.

It was a hot day in Florence, and I was on vacation with my boyfriend. We passed by a sandwich place where one, single, sweaty guy was trying desperately to keep up with a giant line of people (yes, sometimes a line is a good thing). The table in front of him was full of small bowls of marinating ingredients—peppers, tomatoes, artichokes—all hanging out in separate bowls, soaking up the sun and whatever liquid they were sitting in. The guy behind the counter was rapidly dipping back and forth into these bowls and containers of brightly colored sauces like Picasso before a canvas.

We pointed to a number on the menu, then watched in awe as he got to work, drops of sweat falling from his forehead onto the table, probably into our sandwiches. At one point, it got so bad that we had to look away. But we didn’t have the guts or the Italian words to say: can you please make me another one, sans sweat? Here before us was way too much of an artist to be interrupted by our pedestrian concerns. We put our eyes out of focus. We pretended not to see.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B_QxaskHCqD/?hl=en

After the first bite, we forgot all about it. Salami and brie are a match made in salty heaven. The tomatoes added sweetness. The pesto was more oil and flavor and there ain’t nothing wrong with that. It was pure happiness.

You don’t have to fly to Florence to get this sandwich anymore. They have a location in New York. I’ve heard it’s not as good. Will the guy behind the counter sweat into it the way that sandwich artist did in Italy? I don’t know. I fear some angry New Yorker or the health department might stop him.

Takeaway: Sometimes there’s an element of mystery, an X factor if you will, that puts something ahead of the pack, and sometimes that X factor… is sweat.

3) Chicken Tikka Masala Grilled Cheese at Scarfes Bar in London

Spiced up, bright red chicken, cheddar cheese, copious amounts of butter, on naan bread.

I was walking around London, going into all of these markets and restaurants, but I was having trouble eating, turning down tea sandwiches and scones and famous vegetable dishes left and right, due to a bad case of jet lag. My stomach still believed it was seven o’clock in the morning. And it’s hard to choke down an asparagus at 7 AM. However, do you know what you can eat at 7 AM? A grilled cheese.

I remember it was comfort food at its finest, taking the best of Indian cuisine and the best of American cuisine and putting it together. The chicken was spicy, marinated, alarmingly red. The cheese was sharp. It was pressed and charred and came with a spicy red dipping sauce that I was not expecting. I can’t say enough good things about a surprise dipping sauce. Have you ever had a bad sandwich that came with a dipping sauce? I doubt it.

Despite my day-long hunger strike (I was faint, weak, in grave danger of passing out on the streets of London), I scarfed down the whole thing in minutes. Relief flooded through me. Many people don’t feel like themselves without a watch, their phone, a certain pair of sneakers. I don’t feel like myself without my appetite. Thankfully, with this sandwich, I got it back.

Takeaway: Your appetite isn’t far away; you just have to find something good enough to eat. Also, when battling jet lag, don’t try to eat vegetables. Vegetables can only be suffered through when you’re at your strongest.

4) Lamb Sandwich at Taverna Tony in Malibu

Roasted lamb, onions, tomatoes, peppers, tzatziki sauce, open faced on a baked pita.

I was road tripping with my husband up the coast of California when he suggested we stop here. I was grouchy, hungry, and for some reason, completely against it. “I do not want to go to a Greek restaurant in Malibu. What do they know about Greek food in Malibu? A lamb sandwich, you say? I don’t like lamb. Pass.”

Wrong. So very wrong.

The bread was warm, the lamb was well seasoned and tender, the onions were crisp and juicy, and the sauce was satisfying and lemon-y. I’ve never met Tony, but I feel like we’d be friends.

Takeaway: Sometimes you say stupid things when you’re hungry.

5) Fish Sandwich at Art Mel’s Spicy Dicy in Bermuda

Fried fish, coleslaw, cheddar cheese, tartar sauce, and hot sauce on raisin bread.

When it comes to vacation eats, I’ve never met a fish sandwich I didn’t immediately want to order. This one threw me for a loop. Cheese with fish? Raisin bread? Are they sure about this? I mean, Bermuda isn’t exactly a foodie destination. I found myself thinking: Should I trust them or have these people gone right out of their minds?

I’m sure glad I went along for this ride. It’s sweet and savory at its best, like peanut butter and jelly, or chocolate covered pretzels, or smoked salmon and scallion cream cheese on a cinnamon raisin bagel (trust me).

Takeaway: You may question the unlikely combination of fish and cheese, the tartar sauce and hot sauce, the sweet raisin bread with the savory everything else. But to misunderstand this sandwich is to misunderstand something fundamental about life: expect the unexpected, opposites attract, and the world is your ~~oyster~~ sandwich.