If you sit in the front row at a comedy show, you know what you’re signing up for. A little ribbing, maybe a bit of crowd work, the comedian making you part of the act for a minute before moving on. That’s the deal.
What you’re not signing up for is having a stranger with a microphone make sexual jokes about you, repeatedly, in front of a room full of people.
Did This Comedian Take It Too Far?
In a TikTok with more than 2 million views, content creator Martha Kate (@marthaakate) recounts her first experience at a comedy show.
She explains that she’d gone to the early show at the venue and had a good time, so she and her friends stayed for the late show, too.
“It was fun until it wasn’t,” she says.
The host and the venue’s owners were funny to Martha Kate, and then the headliner came on. Martha Kate says she wasn’t laughing at his jokes (at least not all of them), and he noticed. So she says he started directing material at her.
“I’m trying to be cool,” she says in the video. “It’s my first comedy show. I don’t wanna be that person.”
At first, she says she kept it together. She bit her lip. She told herself to stay cool. But he kept coming back to her. She says he made a joke about taking her on a date and then made a crack about her being “the b—- in the front row.” Then, the material shifted.
“Sexual violence has been a part of my life,” she says.
Martha Kate says he made jokes about her engaging in oral intimacy.
“And it just went on for what felt like forever,” she says. Tears slowly begin to fall as she talks.
She describes feeling exposed in front of a room full of people, aware of women in the audience looking at her, waiting to see how she’d react. She held it together until the show ended, and after the show, the host came by and apologized. The headliner walked past her, too.
“He kind of looked at me a little guilty,” she says. “He said, ‘Sorry.’ I said, ‘Thanks, I guess.'”
Then, she says that he added, “’It’s a comedy show. Other people were laughing.’”
Her caption poses a question she says she genuinely doesn’t know the answer to: “Are you supposed to perform laughter at a comedy show? Or can you laugh when you think it’s funny?”
“I’m too scared to @ them,” she says in the caption but states this did not happen at Comedy Bar.
Who Is Armin Arbabi?
Commenters in Martha Kate’s video quickly pointed the finger at Toronto comedian Armin Arbabi, saying his comment section was getting lit up in response.
According to his website, Arbabi is a 26-year-old stand-up comic and writer who started performing at 19 after dropping out of college. He’s built a résumé that includes appearances on Breakfast Television and the Toronto Guardian, a finalist spot in the 420-Comedy Competition, and performances at the Just For Laughs Festival in Toronto.
In his Instagram bio he jokingly calls being a male comedian a red flag.
Martha Kate Speaks Out
In an Instagram direct message, Martha Kate confirmed the comedian in question is Arbabi and shared the following:
“I feel thankful that people have been able to recognize this as sexual harassment rather than ‘jokes.’ It makes me feel sad when I see some of the incredibly hateful messages people were sending to him, but I do think the hate directed at him is a sign that people are more broadly very tired of casual misogyny and sexual violence.
I think a big part of this has nothing to do with me though. He was creating hateful content long before I ever came across any of this, and it affected a lot of people. I think I still belong in the front row. I can take a joke, but we should be able to enjoy a show without worrying we’re in a splash zone for sexual harassment.
Shout out to the comedy scene in the city, so much love from them this week! I’ll be taking in another show sometime soon 100%.”
BroBible reached out to Armin Arbabi for comment via Instagram direct message.
Punching Up Vs. Punching Down
“Punching up” means targeting people or institutions with more power than you, while “punching down” means targeting people who are more vulnerable or marginalized.
According to The Conversation, comedy’s power as a social force has historically come from the former—using humor to expose injustice, challenge authority, and hold the powerful accountable. When it goes the other direction, the joke doesn’t critique anything. It just makes someone feel small.
Crowd work complicates this further. When a comedian singles out an audience member, someone who paid to be there and has no microphone, no platform, and no ability to respond to a room, the power dynamic isn’t between comic and institution. It’s between a person with a stage and a spotlight and a stranger sitting in the dark.
Is What Happened Sexual Harassment?
Sexual harassment doesn’t require physical contact. According to RAINN, it includes any unwanted sexual attention (verbal, physical, or technology-based) that creates a hostile, intimidating, or offensive environment. That includes sexual comments and jokes directed at a specific person. The key word is unwanted: Martha Kate wasn’t laughing and by her own account was visibly uncomfortable, yet the comedian continued anyway.
The legal definitions of sexual harassment are largely built around workplace protections, which means what happened at a comedy show exists in murkier territory. But the behavior itself fits the definition that most people would recognize.
What To Know Before Your First Comedy Show
For anyone who’s never been, here’s what André Bégin, a veteran comedy show attendee, says you should know going in:
- Think twice before sitting in the front row. Comedians can see you just as clearly as you can see them, and if you end up in their sightline, you might become part of the act whether you want to or not.
- Arrive on time. Walking in late is an invitation for a comedian to stop the show and make an example of you in front of everyone.
- Turn your phone all the way off. Not silent, off. A ringing phone mid-set is all the material some comedians need.
- Keep answers short if a comedian talks to you. When a comedian asks, “Where are you from?” they’re not looking for your life story. One word is usually the right answer.
- Don’t try to explain jokes to your friend. By the time the explanation is over, two more jokes have already landed, and now you’ve missed those too.
- Keep side conversations to a whisper, or skip them entirely. The people around you paid to hear the comedian, not you.
Commenters React
“Armin Arbabi’s comment section did NOT disappoint .. I’m sorry this happened to you,” a top comment read.
“‘It’s a comedy show’ then say something funny,” a person said.
“The feeling you’re describing is humiliation mixed with helplessness bc you felt you had to perform laughter for others to look cool even after you were deeply uncomfortable and you had no control over this situation and that’s never ok. A joke is never funny at the expense of someone else I’m sorry you had to deal with this,” another wrote.
“That is sexual harassment and it’s not okay. you are not overreacting. i am so sorry this happened to you,” a commenter added.
@marthaakate Genuine question are you supposed to perform laughter at comedy show? Or can you laugh when you think it’s funny? I’m too scared to @ them (edit to say it wasn’t at Comedy Bar)