The Glenlivet
Have you ever been in the predicament where you want to drink alcohol, but you haven’t had a glass to drink it from? Well, fret no more because whisky distiller The Glenlivet has devised a solution to this problem that literally not one person has encountered — introducing whisky capsules!
The Glenlivet has introduced glassless capsules, a small booze bag of whisky. Sure, you could drink straight from the bottle like a true alcoholic, but apparently it’s way more fun to chomp into a Tide Pod filled with hooch and have it explode in your mouth. “Enjoying them is simple, the capsules are popped in the mouth for an instant burst of flavor, and the capsule is simply swallowed.”
The Glenlivet, which is the world’s second best-selling brand of Scotch, unveiled their Capsule Collection and call them “a first of its kind.” The release coincides with London Cocktail Week.
These delicious Tide Pod-looking capsules contain 23 milliliters of whisky encased in biodegradable and edible seaweed. They’re whisky dumplings. Or is it whisky sushi?
“No ice. No stirrer. No glass. We’re redefining how whisky can be enjoyed. Introducing The Glenlivet Capsule Collection #noglassrequired,” The Glenlivet said on Twitter.
Literally Nobody:
The Glenlivet:
No ice. No stirrer. No glass. We're redefining how whisky can be enjoyed. Introducing The Glenlivet Capsule Collection #noglassrequired pic.twitter.com/F4MGErsfZM
— The Glenlivet (@TheGlenlivet) October 2, 2019
People are going to put these in their butts.
How did someone pitch this at The Glenlivet boardroom meeting? “Our sales are down amongst millennials drinkers. Millennials are eating Tide Pods. Hear me out… whisky Tide Pods.”
The internet did not disappoint in mocking the whisky Tide Pods for drunks everywhere.
https://twitter.com/smotus/status/1180323737318506496
https://twitter.com/BrandiLynn4Ever/status/1180337369112727554
This destroys the experience of tasting a good scotch.
You can't nose it.
You can't sip it.
You can't fold your tongue, & then flatten your tongue inside your mouth, exposing different flavor receptors.
You can't break a bottle over someone's head.Never listen to marketing.
— Jackie Summers (@jackfrombkln) October 4, 2019
When I was a kid they said that in the future we’d be eating entire three-course meals in capsule form. Given the way the future has turned out, it’s fitting that they skipped the meals and went straight to whiskey. https://t.co/5m4hnjTFsk
— @rob-sheridan.com on BSky (@rob_sheridan) October 5, 2019
https://twitter.com/JHWeissmann/status/1180327000994701313
https://twitter.com/LunchJournals/status/1180441123581550592
Is the Glenlivet thing a deepfake? I have lost the ability to tell
— Josh Glancy (@joshglancy) October 5, 2019
“Did you run the dishwasher?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Everything in it smells like scotch.” https://t.co/dXAVKO9vxg
— Doug Bartow 🇺🇦 (@dougbartow) October 5, 2019
https://twitter.com/jaboukie/status/1180318241417236481
Using the new Whiskey Tide Pods in the laundry will have you smelling like the dad from Shameless all day.
— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) October 5, 2019
https://twitter.com/praxxxxxis/status/1180401984832262144
https://twitter.com/mattwhitlockPM/status/1180475870860980224
But there were some people with Twitter reactions that saw the positive potential of the whisky Tide Pods.
Tapping into that enormous market: people who want to sneak alcohol into concerts, movies, work, school, proms, middle school dances, airplane cockpits…
— Jen (@jenbiensur) October 5, 2019
Need to get your drink on at work?
Wanna sneak a little sumpin' sumpin' into your next restricted venue?
No worries!
And, you can ditch the flask!
People gon' be sucking these down like Tide pods! https://t.co/xmiGLcAdKm— Marsha Warfield (@MarshaWarfield) October 5, 2019
This is actually a pretty great accessible option for folks who want to drink @TheGlenlivet who may have difficulty opening bottles & pouring! #NoGlassRequired https://t.co/6YiWaKHcVt
— Alice Wong 王美華 (@SFdirewolf) October 5, 2019
not gonna lie
I want to put it in my mouth pic.twitter.com/K69D47qAll
— Calathea Whisperer (@BitchWithA_W) October 5, 2019
At last! An end to the tiresome drudge of holding a glass of a fine single malt, warming it in your hand, watching the light play on its deep amber and mahogany depths, enjoying the warm winter aroma rise up as you swirl it in your hand, savouring the taste on your lips. No more! https://t.co/nu59ap1FGj
— Dan Rebellato (@DanRebellato) October 5, 2019
The Glenlivet teamed up with the London bar Tayēr + Elementary to create the cocktail capsules. The Tide Pod whisky will be available in three different varieties: Citrus, Wood, and Spice.
“As a brand that celebrates originality, we are always looking to break the conventions that have determined how single malt Scotch has historically been enjoyed,” Miriam Eceolaza, director of The Glenlivet, said in the announcement of the whisky pods. “The Glenlivet Capsule Collection does exactly that, and we’re excited to see how people react when they try our glassless cocktails. Our founder, George Smith, always went against the grain, bucking tradition and doing things differently. The Glenlivet Capsule Collection continues his pioneering spirit today.”
Friendly reminder, eight people have died from ingesting laundry detergent pods.
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