Kick The Tires And Light The Fires: We Paired Every Iconic Action Star With The Beer They Would Most Likely Be
The action movie genre is one that will forever be awesome in its explosion-filled glory. Yes, there are definitely some stinkers that have come through the cinema over the years (ain’t that an understatement), but we’ve also gotten some fire-breathing films that have almost burnt the screen. But what real award do these films, and the iconic characters leading them, get? Not much is the answer. So, in honor of the kickass legendary characters that made these movies what they are today, I give you every iconic film star paired with their respective beer brand.
Rocky (Rocky) – Miller Lite
It doesn’t get more vintage than Miller Lite. It’s not my favorite beer by any means, but damn do they know how to get people drinking it. This was a beer of an older generation, but Miller Lite did a great job with revamping their brand and getting cans back into people’s hands. And thus, a new, old beer was born. Something that represented an older, tougher generation, but has survived over the years. This is Rocky Balboa to a T. He’s a survivor and almost always comes out on top. He never quits and gives it his all. And, in the end, people love him for it.
John McClane (Die Hard) – Budweiser
Yes, there has been huge controversy with Anheuser-Busch somewhat recently, but at the end of the day a good, a cold Budweiser might be the most classic move a guy can make. It’s heavy and can quench thirst in one fell sip. Its got a hard taste to it that resembles John McClane in a bottle. He’s the toughest SOB on the planet. McClane can be shot, walk on glass and survive mountains of rooftop explosions and STILL make it home for Christmas. That, my friends, is the definition of hard.
The Terminator (The Terminator) – Yuengling
The Terminator is a death-dealing human cyborg who is strictly business. He has a hard bite (obviously), but he deals his killings with zero emotion. Much like The Terminator, Yuengling is beyond subtle in its drinkability, but has a bit of a bite when it hits the lips. It’s basic, emotionless, but that’s what makes it a good beer. All that matters is its bite, and damn is it a tasty one.
Neo (The Matrix) – Stella Artois
Although not a go-to for my weekends, Stella does have a swift, light and confident taste to it that makes it go down easy, but without being too watery. Neo, from The Matrix, embodies this spirit 120%, as all of his actions are swift, clean and confident in their execution. Be it flying, fighting or stopping bullets, confidence and control radiates from him.
Indiana Jones (Indiana Jones) – Bud Light
Similar to the other classics, Bug Light is a staple for many. And so is Indiana Jones. He is the ultimate adventurer and is always reliable. We know what we are getting when we see Indy in action: fun, mayhem, puzzle-solving and a guy who is damn slick with the ladies. Similar to Dr. Jones is Bug Light, a trusty reliable that’s been around for ages and is something we know well and can order when we want a good, classic beer.
Mad Max (Mad Max) – Four Loco
It’s simple. Yes, this is the only example that’s not a beer, but for Mad Max a Four Loco is the only choice. This drink is nuts. It is so nuts it has even made news because of how dangerous it can be (much like Max himself). Like the Road Warrior, this drink kicks you in the face after the first sip and gets you up and ready to rock n’ roll.
James Bond (James Bond) – Heineken
Was it too predictable for this to be Bond’s equivalent? Well, that’s because the old Heineken commercials were right. Similar to Stella, but with a bit sharper taste, Heineken is sleek and easy to put down. Some can’t stand it. Others love it. This is similar to Mr. Bond since the people who love him (Q, the ladies, Moneypenny), adore him. And the people who hate him (Goldfinger, Dr. No, Oddjob, etc.) want to see him die a painful death.
Dutch (Predator) – Dogfish Head (60 Minute)
Dutch is a classic action movie hero who we don’t really hear that much about anymore, but when we do, it’s AWESOME. I mean, just look at that clip. A guy who covers himself in mud, ready to take on the Predator and reveals his position with an insanely rad war-cry? Epic. So, Dutch is in the ballpark of Dogfish Head, and definitely an IPA. He’s a 60-minute brew though due to him being a lean, mean fighting machine who can shift and mold himself to the jungle around him. Dogfish Head 60-minutes are lighter IPAs that you can drink over and over and feel like a million bucks. And hey, Dutch looks like a million bucks.
Han Solo (Star Wars) – Sam Adams Boston Lager
We are starting to get into some seriously dark territory here. Han Solo is the king of rebels (and no, I will not mark him as a Rebel IPA). He shot first and never looked back. He’s dangerous. He’s sarcastic. He’s crazy. But my favorite characteristic about this lovable space cowboy is that he’s dark. He’s fueled by being lonely and could care less about others. Until, well, you know. So, his dark, mysterious and rebellious attitude make him a Sam Adams Boston Lager. This beer is on the much heavier side and you can only have so much without getting putting square on your ass. But at the end of the day, it’s a damn good brew. Ol’ Han is gritty and dark, but damn it, he’s got a spirit that we ALL love.
Batman (All Batman Movies) – Guinness
One of the darkest, heaviest beers around, Guinness is the brew of real drinkers. It has a charcoal soul that so many of us love and who better to be paired with this brand than the Bat himself. Batman is the ultimate tragic hero, as he will never get to love or reveal his true self since he sacrifices himself for the people of Gotham, thus making his core chock-full of darkness. His bleakness is what others benefit from and recognize him as, and that is something he is ok with doing. Much like Guinness, its dark makeup, HEAVY taste and pronunciation are what we love about it.
Ellen Ripley (Alien) – Terrapin Hopsecutioner
Ever heard of Terrapin? Or Hopsecutioner? Well it’s a damn good IPA that packs a whole lotta punch in just one serving. Much like the badass Ripley, a woman who is hellbent on not only surviving, but taking down that demon spawn alien with her. She has the biggest heart of any action hero I can think of and shows no mercy. Similar to this IPA, watch out, because you get a lot for what you pay for.
The Bride (Kill Bill) – Dos Equis
Honestly, The Bride terrifies me. If I saw her in real life, I would just bow to her with my head down and let her pass. She’s lethal. She’s smart. And she is very, very cool. Dos Equis is a good tasting, cool beer that can be sipped at any time really, hot or cold. This is The Bride through and through. She kicks ass and takes names all while doing it with a sense of slickness. These two belong with each other. Most interesting man in the world? Try most interesting bride in the world.
Bodhi (Point Break) – Corona Extra
Would you have expected anything else for one of the best characters in film history? Just like a sand-covered Corona, Bodhi is super chill, good vibes and high-fives. But when he needs to be, he can kick the tires and light the fires and become a vessel of pure mayhem. From my experience with Corona this is what happens. The first few go down so easy and taste great. Then, you are causing mayhem on the beach because OOPS! There goes that 12-pack.
John Rambo (First Blood) – Dogfish Head (120 Minute)
This is one of the most potent, heavy tasting beers around. It is actually dangerous to drink more than three of these things. They taste amazing, but seriously, watch out. The same can always be said about crazy man John Rambo. Watch. Out.
Snake Plissken (Escape From New York/LA) – Tecate
One of my all-time favorite action movie heroes, Snake Plissken truly cares about nothing. Every word he says has a sting to it, but he also has a classic common man in him. He’s the kind of guy who just wants to be left alone damnit! So, he and Tecate are perfect for each other. Tecate is the perfect mixture of mainstream, but with a bite. We can all relate to Snake, but he will never want to talk to us about it. Ever.
Sarah Connor (Terminator 2: Judgement Day) – Snake Venom: The World’s Strongest Beer
And, of course, the best has been saved for last. Sarah Connor is an unstoppable, machine-gun brained fighter who is genuinely one of the scariest, most unapologetic action heroes ever. That being said, she deserves the strongest beer in the world. The one that scares 99% of the general population. She will never stop and is someone you definitely want on your side. By the way, be careful consuming this beverage.
Enjoy these picks? Got more? Let me know what else could be added. But until then, light up your green flares, crack a brew and drink to the amazing action heroes of our generation.