You May Want to Go Drinking with Bad Southern Belle Reese Witherspoon After Watching This Video
Something about Reese Witherspoon’s drunk-sorority-recruitment-chair routine is really doing it for me. She’s like the shade-throwing hot chick you simultaneously feared and worshipped at some time or another in your life, especially if you grew up in the South; the kind of girl who’s refined the art of “bless her heart” shit-talking and who, after four gin and tonics, is just slicing up the room.
“I love you Kara. Cara. I don’t know what your fuckin’ name is,” she says to model Cara Delevingne. Cara, who is flanked by Zooey Deschanel and Kate Upton, confirms it’s “Cara.” Witherspoon tries to pronounce Delevingne’s last name. She purposely screws it up because she’s got NO TIME for these French chicks.
Then when they’re walking out the door, Witherspoon gives some truly priceless advice on names: “The most important thing in a name—for a girl? It’s that a man can whisper it into his pillow,” she tells Delevingne (who is a lesbian.)
Witherspoon would get you to do literally anything in the world in that elevator. And she probably wouldn’t even need to look up from her phone.