The 30 Best Quotes Ever Spoken In Stoner Movies

Hollywood has a subgenre of movies that they rarely like to mention. It is a subgenre of comedy films that feature marijuana as the center of the story. It’s called stoner films.

Stoner films have been around since 1969 when a little film called Easy Rider introduced recreational use of marijuana on film. It started something that continues to be a part of film-making today.

From Cheech and Chong to The Big Lebowski, stoner films, good or bad, have given stoners something to enjoy while…well…also enjoying marijuana. One could even argue that stoner films are made specifically for people who are high. But you can judge for yourself.

Here are some of the best quotes from stoner movies for your toking pleasures.

30. Grandma’s Boy (2006)

“Your bed is a car.” – Alex (Allen Covert)

“Yeah, but it’s a f***ing sweet car.” – Jeff (Nick Swardson)

29. Super Troopers (2001)

Litre is French for give me some f***ing cola before I break vous f***ing lips!” – Farva (Kevin Heffernan)

28. Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle (2004)

“Here, that’s sixt – 80 bucks.” – Hippie Student (Dov Tiefenbach)

“80 bucks?” – Kumar (Kal Penn)

Yeah, 80 bucks.” – Hippie Student (Dov Tiefenbach)

“Yo, this is worth 40 tops bro!” – Kumar (Kal Penn)

Bro? I’m not your bro, bro. ok, and that’s 80 bucks. You don’t feel like getting high tonight? If you don’t feel like getting high, that’s cool with me because there’s lots of people around here. See this guy? Hey, what’s up, George? I smoke buds with George all the time.” – Hippie Student (Dov Tiefenbach)

“What kind of a hippie are you?” – Kumar (Kal Penn)

“What kind of hippie am I? Man, I’m a business hippie, I understand the concept of supply and demand.” – Hippie Student (Dov Tiefenbach)

27. Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)

What are you trying to say? Just say it already.” – Jay (Jason Mewes)

“THE SIGN on the back of the car said “Critters Of HOLLYWOOD”, YOU DUMB F**K!” – Silent Bob (Kevin Smith)

“Say it, don’t spray it.” – Jay (Jason Mewes)

26. Up in Smoke (1978)

“You wanna get high man?” – Chong (Tommy Chong)

“Does Howdy Doody got wooden balls man?” – Cheech (Cheech Marin)

25. Pineapple Express (2008)

“Man, listen, I would just appreciate it if both of y’all would take your shoes off. This is brand-new carpet. You’re tracking mud in here. Matheson, you got British Knights on. I ain’t seen anybody wear them since 1987…” [Matheson shoots Red] – Red (Danny McBride)

24. Ted (2012)

“That doesn’t sound like me. I don’t sound that much like Peter Griffin. You guys!” – Ted (Seth MacFarlane)

23. Friday (1995)

“No sugar? Damn. Y’all ain’t never got two things that match. Either y’all got Kool-aid, no sugar. Peanut butter, no jelly. Ham, no burger. Damn!” – Smokey (Chris Tucker)

22. Dazed & Confused (1993)

“Behind every good man there is a woman, and that woman was Martha Washington, man, and everyday George would come home, she would have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he come in the door man, she was a hip, hip, hip lady, man.” – Slater (Rory Cochrane)

21. Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)

“If the buzz is any indicator, that movie’s gonna make some huge bank.” – Holden (Ben Affleck)

“What buzz?” – Jay (Jason Mewes)

The Internet buzz.” – Holden (Ben Affleck)

What the f**k is the Internet?” – Jay (Jason Mewes)

“The Internet is a communication tool used the world over where people can come together to bitch about movies and share pornography with one another.” – Holden (Ben Affleck)

20. Super Troopers (2001)

“They think I’m Mexican.” – Thorny (Jay Chandrasekhar)

“You’re not Mexican?” – Rabbit (Erik Stolhanske)

19. Cheech and Chong’s Next Movie (1980)

“Hey I don’t think you better light it in here, man.” – Cheech (Cheech Marin)

“Why?” – Chong (Tommy Chong)

“Ah, these gas fumes, man.” – Cheech (Cheech Marin)

“Oh man.” [flicks the lighter] – Chong (Tommy Chong)

“I don’t know.” [the inside of the car explodes] – Cheech (Cheech Marin)

18. Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle (2004)

“Go on inside, boys, and make yourselves at home. You can rest up, get something to drink, f**k my wife, whatever you want. Just don’t do anything Jesus wouldn’t!” – Freakshow (Christopher Meloni)

17. Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)

“Mister, if you don’t shut up, I’m gonna to kick 100% of your ass.” – Brad (Jude Reinhold)

16. Friday (1995)

“Remember it. Write it down. Take a picture. I don’t give a f**k.” – Smokey (Chris Tucker)

15. Pineapple Express (2008)

“It’s almost a shame to smoke it. It’s like killing a unicorn… with, like, a bomb.” – Saul (James Franco)

14. Grandma’s Boy (2006) 

“Shit’s weak!” – Jeff (Nick Swardson)

13. The Big Lebowski (1998)

“Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.” – The Dude (Jeff Bridges)

12. A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas (2011)

“I am gay for that p*ssy” – Neil Patrick Harris (Himself)

11. Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)

“I’ve been thinking about this, Mr. Hand. If I’m here and you’re here, doesn’t that make it our time? Certainly, there’s nothing wrong with a little feast on our time.” – Jeff Spicoli (Sean Penn)

10. Dazed and Confused (1993)

“Say man, you got a joint?” – David (Matthew McConaughey)

“Uhhh, no. Not on my me man.” – Mitch (Wiley Wiggins)

“It’d be a lot cooler if you did.” – David (Matthew McConaughey)

9. Half-Baked (1998)

“I wanna talk to Samson! Fly me to the moon like that b***h Alice Kramden.” – Sir Smoke-a-lot (Dave Chappelle)

8. Super Troopers (2001)

“I swear to God I’ll pistol whip the next guy who says “Shenanigans.” – Captain O’Hagan (Brian Cox)

“Hey Farva what’s the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy shit on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?” – Mac (Steve Lemme)

“You mean Shenanigans?” – Farva (Kevin Heffernan)

“Ooooooooooo!” – Mac and Thorny (Steve Lemme and Jay Chandrasekhar)

7. Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay (2008)

“Well maybe if the people in your country stopped eating *doughnuts* and started realizing what their government is doing to the world, “assholes” like us wouldn’t exist!” – Terrorist #1 (Anand Vadehra)

“F**k you! Doughnuts are awesome!” – Kumar (Kal Penn)

6. The Big Lebowski (1998)

“F**k it dude. Let’s go bowling.” – Walter (John Goodman)

5. Up In Smoke (1978)

“Hey how am I driving, man?” – Pedro (Cheech Marin)

“I think we’re parked.” – Man Stoner (Tommy Chong)

4. Grandma’s Boy (2006)

“You’re getting a lion?” – Alex (Allen Covert)

“Yeah.” – Dante (Peter Dante)

“Why?” – Alex (Allen Covert)

“To protect my shit.” – Dante (Peter Dante)

“Never heard of a dog?” – Alex (Allen Covert)

“Dude, you can get past a dog. Nobody f***s with a lion.” – Dante (Peter Dante)

3. Pineapple Express (2008)

“I’m trying to decide how stoned I am and just how on the verge of death am I right now. Like, am I seeing shit because I’m stone or because I have no blood left in my body.” – Red (Danny McBride)

“Well, you’ve been shot like seven times.” – Dale (Seth Rogen)

2. The Big Lebowski (1998)

“Walter, I love you, but sooner or later, you’re going to have to face the fact you’re a goddamn moron.” – The Dude (Jeff Bridges)

1. Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle (2004)

“Did Doogie Howser just steal my f***ing car?” – Harold (John Cho)