That is not a typo in the headline. I’m sure many of you assumed the headline should have read, “‘Honey Boo Boo’ Parents Mama June And Sugar Bear Offered $1 Million To Never Ever Ever Ever Make Sex Tape.” However this is not the case because the former “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” stars have been asked to make a porno.
Vivid Entertainment founder Steve Hirsch has offered Mama June and Sugar Bear $1 million to make a sex tape. Yes, that Mama June. And yes, that Sugar Bear. This could very well be the worst idea for a movie since that Adam Sandler movie. No not that last one with Drew Barrymore. That other one where he was a girl and a boy in the same movie.
Lose your lunch yet? Don’t worry because there’s still time.
Since this very provocative proposition is very unlikely to happen, let’s imagine the sensual what could have been in a series of tantalizing GIFs.
I think it would start with a seduction that no man could resist.
An enticing mouth is an invitation to her bed.
Then things would get especially steamy with some oral titillation.
She’ll erotically caress and kiss every part of his body.
She’ll gently massage her pleasure mounds to really stimulate and overwhelm his libido.
While in the throes of passion there will be no way for her to hold back all of the pure bliss.
Finally the whimsical encounter will end in a ever-pleasing climax.
Yea, this sex tape is a really, really bad idea.