If I had to pick one female celebrity to marry based strictly on their public persona it would be Kate Beckinsale. I’ve had a crush on her for so long I don’t even remember when it started.
Oh yeah, she’s also now single since she and her idiot husband are getting a divorce.
Why would anyone EVER divorce this woman?! She’s drop-dead gorgeous. She can kick some ass when called upon in movies (Underworld). And she’s funny as hell. Does not compute.
Anyway, for proof of what an off-the-wall sense of humor (and dirty mind) Beckinsale has, just check out her interview below from Wednesday night’s Late Night with Seth Meyers.
During the interview Beckinsale revealed one of her secret hobbies is turning fruit into penises. No, seriously.
“It’s not hard,” said Kate, laughing when she realized she just made a perfect double entendre. “It’s not hard in the sense that it’s not difficult. You do have to have an eye and you do obviously have to have a desire to do it, which I have in spades. I do that quite a lot.”
She even admitted that one time her penis hobby got her daughter in trouble in sixth grade when she doodled a penis on Lily’s homework.
Beckinsale did clarify that her obsession is only limited to the fruit and vegetable kind, “I like the fruit version. It’s not like I’m obsessed with all people’s penises. It’s always funny if it’s vegetables and fruit.”
Awesome.
And if you aren’t following Kate Beckinsale on social media you are really missing out because she’s goddamn hilarious on both Instagram as well as Twitter.
Some examples…
When traveling
1. Packing light is overrated
2. Do not be ashamed to bring important transitional objects ❤️ @BrendanScannell pic.twitter.com/FEXP8bTe4e— Kate Beckinsale (@KateBeckinsale) September 25, 2016
If i make the VROOM noise it's nearly like I'm driving pic.twitter.com/Is1xsF3c86
— Kate Beckinsale (@KateBeckinsale) September 16, 2016
Winter whites pic.twitter.com/UGL70dslRE
— Kate Beckinsale (@KateBeckinsale) September 12, 2016
I thought that's what you said pic.twitter.com/eGHZJ3wQ38
— Kate Beckinsale (@KateBeckinsale) September 8, 2016
Family group chat Tuesday (Aro is Michael's character in #Twilight) pic.twitter.com/C6dB4sXkBi
— Kate Beckinsale (@KateBeckinsale) September 7, 2016
What's a 3 minute rejuvenation? Glitter? A bulldog clip? A pep talk? WHERE ARE THE TESTICLE REJUVENATION BILLBOARDS? pic.twitter.com/ZtX4lJnXYv
— Kate Beckinsale (@KateBeckinsale) September 2, 2016
The haunted look of a woman who has been told her dog needs an anal suppository every day for five days pic.twitter.com/LvQpZiazP6
— Kate Beckinsale (@KateBeckinsale) September 1, 2016
Bubble bath pic.twitter.com/ZpLyqJl5HE
— Kate Beckinsale (@KateBeckinsale) August 25, 2016
Ah, Ureter, the unsung hero of the urinary tract. Glad to see it finally getting some ❤️ #LAisQuiteWeird pic.twitter.com/Zg7GgkLHQq
— Kate Beckinsale (@KateBeckinsale) August 24, 2016
I've never had anything spring out of my uterus and drive me around before. I need a second. pic.twitter.com/Z0hoaBi2zH
— Kate Beckinsale (@KateBeckinsale) August 23, 2016
#tbt to the last time I cooked #domesticgoddess pic.twitter.com/BZap6JSGpl
— Kate Beckinsale (@KateBeckinsale) August 19, 2016
Now do you see why I want to marry this woman? Swoon…