I must say, this was one of The Bachelorette’s finest “back-to-back episodes” in a long time. It had everything from the return of Chad, to JoJo playing victim time and time again. I enjoyed the last two nights. After a few bad episodes, an impressive bounce back from ABC.
Speaking of JoJo and her favorite role to play, victim, let’s discuss a bit further. If you have read my recaps in the past you know my feelings on JoJo’s “poor me” attitude throughout these past nine episodes. On Monday night, she took that attitude to a level I have yet to see. In both of her break ups, JoJo began and ended with tears streaming down her face, telling all of America how “unfair it is” that their relationship has to end like this. JoJo made it seem as if she was the one being broken up with. It’s amazing that JoJo hasn’t been given a rose for playing victim in every situation throughout this season.
It always amazes me how some of The Bachelor’s and Bachelorette’s come on this show seemingly ambivalent to how the process of the show works. You aren’t going to come out of this as a Mormon (Jimmer!) with multiple husbands, JoJo.
Taking that I was so confused about where JoJo’s head was at throughout Monday’s episode, I did some research. After digging DEEP into the internet, I found THIS clip of JoJo as a child, which explains JoJo’s actions throughout the season:
That right there is A+ journalism out of me. This is why you come and read the work out of me each week. I know, I know, you’re welcome.
For this review, I’m going to go into Monday’s episode and then talk a bit about the much-anticipated return of Chad on Men Tell All. The awards sections will be a combination of the two shows.
Anyways, let’s get to the goodbyes and power rankings:
Each week we will pay our respects and say our goodbyes to the men who were eliminated during last night’s rose ceremony and/or left on a random beach in the middle of nowhere (miss you, Olivia)
Luke (LW: 2)
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#BachNation was in shock over Luke’s exit, and that’s because most of #BachNation is stupid. This was an INTENTIONAL move by the ABC producers, to make Luke look like the guy who got his heartbroken out of nowhere and then build up a great story for when he is the next Bachelor. It’s fairly simple, and the fact I have to explain it is concerning.
JoJo being told to eliminate Luke is the only thing that makes sense. Do you think JoJo wanted to bring Chase into the fantasy suite over Luke? No. Don’t you remember that kiss on the bench that was borderline porn? JoJo wanted to bring Luke to the fantasy suite for obvious reasons, but at the end of the day she had to take this one for the team and eliminate him.
Chase (LW: 3):
Chase almost had one of the greatest Bachelorette exits in HISTORY:
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“Is this my fantasy suite?” Chase said walking into his exit van, as he opens up a cold one….POWER MOVE. I was ready to hop on the Chase bandwagon for eternity after watching that. Finally, a guy who doesn’t pull the “oh it’s okay you just spit in my face on National TV, you are a great person” card and says what’s ACTUALLY on his mid.
But then, Chase decided to pull the SAWFTEST move I’ve seen in years:
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I don’t really even know what to say about this. I buried my head in my hands as I watched this unfold. Have you EVER heard somebody getting broken up with, then 12 hours later going up to their ex and telling them how “proud” of he/she is.
Hopefully, Chase was paid a solid paycheck for this stunt, because that’s the only explanation for that move. I don’t know if he was trying to play the “oh, maybe her marriage wont work out and she’ll come back to me” card, but come on dude.
2. Robby (LW: 4):
- If Robby could stop with the whole “I may seem like a choir boy, but actually I’m a bad boy” shtick, that would be great. He did it again this week while interrupting Chase and JoJo’s date.
- His exit interview is going to be great when he loses. I’ll bet anybody $100 that he drops an “I thought this was going to be my opportunity at true love” line.
1 Jordan (LW: 1):
- Jordan is winning. JoJo is going to pull the “maybe I shouldn’t marry the questionable guy” card throughout the finale, but Jordan is going to win. I have zero doubt in my mind.
- JoJo like Jordan 10x more than Robby. Even with only one guy left, JoJo continues to play hard to get with Jordan. You can see it in every interaction.
- Jordan complained about not knowing that you could come back “from the dead” when Chase came back to talk to JoJo. Jordan has OBVIOUSLY never watched WWE, or just forgot about The Undertaker.
Men Tell All:
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From the very beginning, Chad’s appearance was all I imagined it to be. From the all black outfit to the devious smiles I missed so much, I loved every second of the reappearance from the Chadberry.
I’m not sure what Wells was talking about when he said: “America has heard enough from you Chad…..” WRONGGGGGGG. America has NOT heard enough from Chad. I would watch an entire reality show devoted STRICTLY to Chad.
I know a lot of people say they don’t like Chad, but deep down everybody loves/wants to be/wants to be with Chad, they just don’t know how to admit it.
Before we get to the awards, I want to give a quick shout out to Vinny’s mom:
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I have never seen a more Staten Island Italian looking mother in my entire life.
Moment Of The Night:
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“Well, Daryl, here’s the thing.” Loved every second of this. I love how Chad went full super villain and went after these dude’s exes. I love how he pretended to not know Derrick’s name. Thanks for being you, Chad.
Awkward Moment Of The Night:
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I’m not sure what Wells is trying to do here. I guess he is trying to come across as the sweet and intellectual guy to America, but I don’t need your philosophy, buddy. If I wanted philosophy I would read Plato or Chad’s Instagram, I don’t need your insight into America. Stop being such a try hard, it’s NOT working.
Quote Of The Night:
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“Your pocket square doesn’t match your shirt”
The Act Like You’ve Been There Before Award:
If you don’t get this award think of this Vince Lombardi quote, “when you get in the end zone, act like you’ve been there before.”
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Evan….come on. I would have hoped you knew better than that after watching your embarrassing performance on the show.
Internet Moment Of The Night:
Hardo Of The Night:
Noun- A hardo is a person who tries extremely hard at everything. Most times a hardo will try very hard at things that do not require excessive effort.
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When Nick got up and pulled off his shirt, I said out loud, “wait a second, isn’t that the guy who came dressed as Santa Clause to the first show?” I then realized it was indeed Saint Nick, and immediately said, “sit the fuck down, buddy.”
Let me know your thoughts on last nights episode over on Twitter @BigDaddysCourt (I follow back)!