Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re thought-provoking, and sometimes we don’t know what they’re talking about. This list is all of that and more.
Strap in. It could get bumpy. These are the most entertaining celebrity tweets this week.
Well I can die now that Oprah has seen the outline of Neil Patrick Harris's scrotum.
— billy eichner (@billyeichner) February 23, 2015
Bucket list: complete.
https://twitter.com/DavidSpade/status/569698440604549121
Turns out there was, but it was too little too late.
It's official. I'm bored.#Oscars2015
— Katie Couric (@katiecouric) February 23, 2015
You and me both, Katie.
Patricia Arquette wins Best Supporting Actress for BOYHOOD and stands up for Equal Pay for Women. My wife kicks me, as if I'm the problem.
— KevinSmith (@ThatKevinSmith) February 23, 2015
Welcome to marriage.
The Oscars are a sad joke, very much like our President. So many things are wrong!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 23, 2015
The Donald’s panties were in a big bunch over the Oscars.
https://twitter.com/therealroseanne/status/569736072608919555
She loved it.
I'll be disappointed if this weeks timeline isn't filled w/ @joeylogano smiling widely & squinting harder than any human has ever squinted.
— Dale Earnhardt Jr. (@DaleJr) February 23, 2015
He is kind of squinty.
Just arrived at the Burger King Oscar party. It's just me and Meryl Streep but we're holding this shit down. Got bottles of Hi-C Orange.
— Nick Swardson (@NickSwardson) February 23, 2015
Sounds like is was the place to be.
If someone says something stupid or nasty to you on Twitter, just look at their photo and read their bio & I guarantee you will feel better.
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) February 23, 2015
This is almost always true.
Boring Oscars. Highlight was guy in his underwear. Who does Neil Patrick Harris think he is Geraldo Rivera?
— Geraldo Rivera (@GeraldoRivera) February 23, 2015
Please do not bring that image up again.
Remember when the Oscars really meant something? Me either.
— (((Jew))) (@JoshMalina) February 23, 2015
Sweet burn.
https://twitter.com/chrissyteigen/status/569908572038959106
Why wasn’t that on TV?
I want to be the male Bjork.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) February 24, 2015
Lofty goal.
The farts from last night's heirloom beans are redolent of history and heritage
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) February 24, 2015
They are the magical fruit.
https://twitter.com/daxshepard1/status/570306743928033282
Oh, there’s no doubt of that.
https://twitter.com/danieltosh/status/570317337963974656
J.K. Simmons does not endorse this.
Why all the Kale hate?
— Bill Burr (@billburr) February 24, 2015
Oh, Bill. Troll so hard.
https://twitter.com/jennettemccurdy/status/570510066312478720
Why are you wearing a cape? And yes.
https://twitter.com/michaelianblack/status/570575172387737601
If I was an Olsen twin, I’d strut too.
So happy to hear that all 19 of the manitees were saved in #Florida. We should always be careful with our wildlife!!
— Anne V (@AnneV) February 25, 2015
Manatee.
John Cleese actually compared journalists to murderers. And he has the gall to lecture us about ethics & morality? Pipe down you old fool.
— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) February 25, 2015
But how do you really feel, Piers?
https://twitter.com/WhitneyCummings/status/570676605934301184
I say go for it.
$944,608: Amount Bulls have paid Derrick Rose for EACH GAME he has played in over the last 3 seasons (56 games)
— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) February 25, 2015
Seems like a solid investment.
Just took a Xanax for bedtime. Don't think it's working though which six cauz I relllly ned 2 getsome slllllkki vmjk 67$hkjjjjj
— Nick Swardson (@NickSwardson) February 26, 2015
Sweet dreams, Nick.
Heard to Indianapolis to do culture shock. I have a confession. The TSA guy that patted me down, I'm marrying! Baby Jesus!
— Rowdy Roddy Piper (@R_Roddy_Piper) February 26, 2015
Hot Rod’s not all there, folks.
How many of you have flown from Salt Lake City to Hays, Kansas before? That's what I thought. I win.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) February 26, 2015
You do indeed win, Rainn.
Make a fist & try to stick it up your own ass. It hurts. It doesn't make sense.
Now get up & go after your dreams.. it's a lot easier.— Dane Cook (@DaneCook) February 26, 2015
That should be on a motivational poster.
Net neutrality. Yay!!! Totally going to look up what that is.
— (((Jew))) (@JoshMalina) February 26, 2015
Said thousands of people.
https://twitter.com/wilw/status/571043866859581440
If you don’t know what this means, you really missed out.
CURRENT STATUS: GO FUCK YOURSELF
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) February 24, 2015
Have a great weekend, everybody.