For the record, no frat house in America has a Nintendo Wii. The only people who own Nintendo Wiis are parents who were too cheap to buy their kids a WiiU and figured “Eh, it’s close enough” and tried to pawn off the older console onto their kids like it was something new. Old school N64 is where it’s at, because not only is the system goddamn indestructible, but it’s got all the best games – Golden Eye, Mario Kart, Super Smash Brothers – literally all the classics that everyone inherently knows how to play even if they haven’t picked them up in a decade.
So that’s fuck-up #1.
Fuck-up #2 is playing with the Wii steering wheel. The only reason you’d play with the steering wheel is because you want to lose; the steering is touchy and people have a tendency to overcompensate and then drive off in weird directions. In other words, if you’re using the wheel it’s because you’re a fucking scrub who plays for “fun” instead of drunk driving.
And for those of you who don’t know the game, “drunk driving” is when each player has to kill a full beer before crossing the finish line on the final lap, but you can’t drink while driving. So chug your beer at the beginning, chug it at the end or come to a complete stop in the middle of the track multiple times to take a few gulps, it doesn’t matter – but Rogen, Conan and Efron aren’t doing it right. Dump the Wii and grab an N64 along with a case of Natty Lite and I’ll show you three how Mario Kart is actually played in frat houses.