Two weeks ago, former House Speaker John Boehner described Texas Sen. Ted Cruz as “Lucifer in the flesh.” He continued his flattery of Cruz to an audience at Stanford University, “I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life.” Saturday Night Live took the insult quite literally, and made the former GOP presidential candidate into actually being Satan. And who better to interview Beelzebub than the holier than thou Church Lady?
SNL brought back Dana Carvey to resurrect his classic Church Lady character in this cold open sketch. First Church Lady gave her opinions on how Beyonce looked like she was wearing a condom in her Met Gala outfit and Madonna’s ass cheeks were hanging out at the event. “Her fanny is just hanging out with the dirty straps that pushed those six decade old buns straight to heaven,” the faithful preacher said.
Ted Cruz, played by Taran Killam, got grilled by the Church Lady who called the politician “a little too preachy.” She then calls him “Ted Man Walking” before he has a meltdown, starts being possessed and leaves.
Donald Trump, portrayed by Darrell Hammond, came to see the Church Lady to talk about religion. Real life Trump has said he is a very religious man, but some are skeptical since they say he is just saying that to get votes from religious people and Evangelicals. When talking about a popular verse from the new Testament, he called it ”Two Corinthians” instead of “Second Corinthians.” When asked about his favorite Bible verse, the extremely outspoken and never shy Trump, would not name his favorite verse from the Bible because it is “personal.”
In the skit, Hammond’s Trump is a Bible-thumping politician who goes to church even on days that aren’t “church days,” loves “Too Genesis, Too Furious,” wants to “keep the Sabbath huge” and the resurrection of Jon Snow was one of his favorite passages that was “great Bible.”
Ted Cruz comes back to the interview, showing his more underworld side as Satan, but once again gets destroyed by Trump and returns to Hell where “they’re more nicer there.”
But we all know that Ted Cruz isn’t really Satan. He’s of course the lead singer of Christian metal band Stryper. Or the Zodiac Killer.