Will ‘Witching & Bitching’ Be The New Go-To Halloween Flick? — New On Netflix

Name only means this movie demands a review but will Witching & Bitching be as awesome as it sounds?

What’s it About?

Witching & Bitching is about a group of men and a kid who rob a store in Madrid then flee for France with the aid of a taxi driver and end up in a town filled with witches. When they find out that the witches plan to eat them to complete a psychotic, satanic ritual the men are forced to fight for their lives and try to escape the witch haven.

Who’s in It?

Absolutely no one you know. I say that to be a dick but also because it is a comedy/horror film from Spain and I don’t even know a single actor/actress in it.

After a quick IMDB search here is what I found out; Hugo Silva plays the leading character named Jose who is a deadbeat, divorced father of one son named Sergio (Gabriel Angel Delgado) who he brings along to help him hold up a cash-for-gold store in the opening scene. He does this along with another moron named Antonio (Mario Casas) and the two ended up being pretty damn good actors for what they were given to work with.

The only other notable character is the absolute fucking dime-piece witch named Eva (Carolina Bang) who is so smoldering hot that, if given the chance, I would be flogged publicly for nine straight days just to watch her sleep for one night.

How Is It?

With a name like Witching & Bitching it is hard for me to not immediately assume that the movie is going to suck elephant dick. However, right after the title is displayed on the screen you are thrust into the center of a busy street in Madrid where a giant robbery takes place. The action is pretty good and it was filmed very well so it was a big throw off. I was actually considering for a moment that this movie might actually be good. Then the dialogue became more and more crucial as the action sequence lulled to a halt and even then I was still pleasantly surprised and thought the hope is still alive for a good movie. Then the creepy, scary elements were being added in along with an incredibly unrealistic father-son dynamic but because it is a comedy/horror it is easy to let these things go.

Honestly, right up until about halfway into the movie it’s really good and entertaining. I can’t fully remember the first scene that the sexy witch was shown because my body went into what I think was an epileptic shock. Her hairstyle, face, cleavage and badass Rihanna mentality had me hooked and was easily reason enough for me to watch the movie.

Witching & Bitching slowly but surely begins to live up to its insanely shitty name with the last half of the movie being a flop and a half. The best part is that at the halfway mark I was thinking to myself that the people who made this movie actually pulled out of their asses a halfway decent story, with solid acting, the perfect amount of eye candy and horror aspects that were scary enough to make me cringe but not want to off myself.

As I was thinking that I immediately started to realize that there is no way in hell they could possibly have written a good ending for this movie. It must be fucking terrible because there is just no chance they could have done it. Well guess what? It was so bad that I am convinced the writers just looked at each other with 40 more minutes to write into the script and said, “That’s all I got.” Then they all nodded to each other, took molly laced with angel dust and wrote whatever they thought would fuck with the audience the most. Well they succeeded on that front, I can assure you of that.

I recommend this to anyone looking for a shitty/funny Halloween movie to watch when Hocus Pocus is not on that day.

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